Our expert says:
It sounds like there are control issues here, as well as matters of self-image and self-esteem. When he suggesed that you should lose weight, you resisted, and didn't want to do it for him. But later, wisely, you decided for yourself, that it would benefit your health, appearance, and general good feelings, to lose weight to a realistic degree, and now you're working on it.
( By the way, remember that part of the annoying things about weight is that, just as when you gain weight, it rarely goes where you might want it to go, so, when you lose it, at least at first it tends to go from wherever is easiest to lose, and only later tends to redistribute itself in ways that look better. Losing the excess is still useful ).
And I wonder whether also, with regard to the "rough and ready" self-image. Would you really not like to look better, for your own sake, and that of others who know and like you ? Would you feel unhappy wearing some makeup, taking more care of your hair, etc. ? or do you have such a low opinion of your own appearance, that it seems pointless to you to bother about it ? Or is there an element of the weight issue --- that you don't want to do it because he wants it ?
It's worthwhile to avoid being unwisely controlled by others. But we mustn;t allow ourselves to get trappd in a situation where we refuse to do something pleasant, that would benefit us, simply because someone else is suggesting that we should
If he actually didn't love you at all, he wouldn't care about your appearance at all. After all, Sri Lanka is full of people about whose appearance you don't care at all. Maybe there's more of a question about whether you love yourself enough, to accept and encourage the love of others, and attend to your health and appearance ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.