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Question
Posted by: confused | 2004/01/18

not getting over her

I was involved with a lady for almost 6 years. We are both in our 20’s. She use to be my everything. She changed jobs and she changed overnight into something she never was. Due to this we decided to end it. The problem is I can’t seem to get over her, everything reminds me of her. I can’t concentrate anymore; my work is starting to suffer as I am a emotional wreck. Is their anyone you can recommend that I go see in the Gauteng area to talk to and who can help me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear confused,
I'm sure you're wise to decide to see counselling to work your way through this problem. Especially the first time one lets oneself become deply involved with another, one can readily built them ( and, even more outr idea of who and what they are, accurate or inaccurate ) so much into our way of viewing ourself and our world, that it becomes more than the loss of a person ( painful though that is ) and also requires us to re-jig our world-view, to form a new and stronger set of concepts of life, that don't include that person. In this way it's similar to other forms of grief. If one does the necessary job well enough, one can emerge stronger ; still capable of deep and satisfyin love, but no longer so vulnerable to being hurt by reverses of fortune within relationships.
I don't recommend specific shrinks / counsellors, for many good reasons, including the impossibility of anyone being able to know enough about all the thousands of such practitioners in this country, to be able to give reliable advice.
For relationship counselling, I have found the organization FAMSA often able to provide links to good and effective counsellors.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: *** | 2004/01/19

Hi there.
Six years is a long time and i can't even imagine what your going threw, but rem there's always light at the end of the tunnel, easier said than done but i've been in a familiar situtation and doing ok now
Be strong its hard but one day someday soon you'll look back and not feel hurt and be happy in life

Reply to ***

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