Posted by: sunflower | 2008/07/29

not getting along with colleague

I have a new colleague that moved into our office and we had a bit of a confrontation yesterday. The thing is we never clicked and i did a bad thing by speaking about him in the third person when he was there. I sent him an sms telling him i was sorry last night because i don' t want to work with tension and i don' t think we need to be friends to work together. he replied and said it was fine but today he is totally ignoring me so i feel like he is still offended. i really don' t want to work with someone who is openly hostile to me. what should i do now?

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Our expert says:
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Well, you "click" with some people, and with others you don't. But you're not needing to go out clubbing together or share a weekend retreat --- yopu only need to work together, and it shouldn't be too hard to keep the relationship polite and effective within the work setting. From what you say, your comments about him were hurtful --- and you apologised, sensibly. Let him sulk a little if he wants to. Give it a bit more time for the dust to settle and for his ruffled feathers to unruffle.
I agree with maria that an apology in person would be far more effective than one by SMS, which should NEVWER EVWER be used for emotionally significant messages and situations. And the coffee might be a good idea, too

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Our users say:
Posted by: pandora | 2008/07/29

I work with a woman who dislikes me for no apparent reason. Frankly, i wish a bird would fly past and shit on her head!

Reply to pandora
Posted by: sunflower | 2008/07/29

thanks. that' s a really mature thing to do for someone like me who is not mature. ok i' ll do the coffee thing even though i don' t want to.

Reply to sunflower
Posted by: Maria | 2008/07/29

I think you should in the first place have apologised in person, rather than by sms. You can either wait and see if he starts talking to you again, or invite him out to coffee and talk it through.

Reply to Maria

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