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Posted by: SUZI | 2008/01/30

NOT FORGIVEN

Goodday, I am married for 14yrs, and for the first time i have done something so uncalled for by kissing my cousin's boyfriend and she caught us, he took us out one eve and i got too tipsy and i kissed him, i really truely have apologised to her and she is not accepting it i feel sick i really do not know what to do, my husband does not know about this, me and my cousin are very close and she always confine in me. i know this won't blow over so soon but at the moment she is sending me nasty sms and emails, i told her whatever she decides i will accept, 2morrow i will go for confession, what shall i do further to gain her friendship etc.. back. ? suzi

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Our expert says:
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It was a foolish thing to do, but not all that awful. She sounds as though she is o ver-reacting. Give her time to cool off. And I like John's point --- sounds like she is entirely blaming you in an unforgiving way --- but wht does she apparently not blame her bf ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: SUZI | 2008/01/31

My cousin's last sms to me said that myself and her guy can go and fu... ourselves and tks for f.. up her life.i do not know if he is forgiven, but i do know that up till 2day he has not replied to my sms i told him i have betrayed her and i did not mean to hurt her, got no reply from him it is now 4 days ago. the same eve in the car, i took my bag out of the boot of his car and she was crying and he told me softly that she is a cry baby and can't stand it, but we know why she was.
thank you for your reply it is much appreciated. suzi

Reply to SUZI
Posted by: John | 2008/01/30

When doing something wrong, it is correct and proper to apologise once one knows that one has transgressed. Some things are pretty hard to swallow, ahem, and I suspect that snogging one's cousin's boyfriend, tipsy or sober, falls under this heading.

But you have apologised. Repeatedly. And you have to face the fact that she may never speak to you again.

The kisses may be terminal for your relationship as she may never forgive you you have to accept this as a consequence of a thing that may have been fun while it lasted but certainly not worth the trouble that it caused. But if she is punishing you with a view to eventual forgiveness then leave her to do so. Ignore the SMSs and e-mails in the meanwhile.

I have to ask: what about the BF? Surely he is as much to blame as you? Has she forgiven him but not you?

Reply to John

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