Our expert says:
Could not the funeral, and especially the ashes scattering, have been delayed until she was well enough to attend ?
Strangem, isn't it, the arrogance of those who perhaps feel less deeply, or are lucky enough to cope with deep felings better than others, who refuse to understand how others react differently from them ?
Anyhow, it's unfortunate that her doctors, probably with the best of intentions, may not have been as helpful as they thought, in helping her to handle the awful news of the loss of her sister - a psychiatric or at least a social worker referral at that point would have been good medical practice - not because she was or is psychiatrically ill, but because she was in a complexly disturbing situation that would be severely challenging to any normal person, and could have benefitted from expert assistance.
Right now, seeing a counsellor with proper experience of grief, might help her, and could help to get her husband to understand her painfully normal progress through these difficulties. Ironically, ,amy grief therapists would have suggesyed the helium balloon idea and similar techniques - apparently she devised a well recognized and respected technique all on her own. Seeing a counsellor could help her to resolve her grief more successfully, and to convince her husband to respect how she chooses to do that
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