Posted by: Discussion | 2008/06/19

Non-confrontation - reply to Cybershrink

Hi Cybershrink

On my previous question I apologised for writing a long story.
However, sorry, I just want to point out that 1)the onus is on you and this website to limit the space available for questions if you want shorter versions2)I thought all the Experts were paid by Health24, I did not realise it was a kind of charity facility.3)Most people who have a genuine problem and decide to write to you (which is hard enough baring your soul) end up pouring their hearts out. I doubt very much if it is intentionally cruel as you put it. I guess the majority of us would not write in if we could afford private psychologists.4)The input from other people is sometimes very helpful as they have experienced or are experiencing a similar thing so they need the detail, maybe not everyone is as qualified as yourself to sift out the important facts. When you are emotional and confused its difficult and especially so without the proper training. Anyway, thank you for the reply, no I don't think I am staying with him due to low-esteem, I just have too much to cope with right without a break-up after 11 years to top it all. I just don't have the balls to face it right it now.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I am here to deal with significant PSYCHIATRIC problems, not as a mariage counsellor, let alone a relationship counsellor to deal with lover's tiffs, as I am often expected to be. Nor to speculate about sperm, or property values.
It is sheer common sense that the longer the message you post the less likely ANYONE will be to read it carefully, amongst the dozens one deals with every day. And the exercise of summarizing your problem and question if of real definite value for you.
I do appreciate that most people find it difficult to reveal and talk about their problems --- I haven't posted 5 pages here about how I feel in dealing with a dying and helpless mother --- but LENGTH is not excused by sinceeity. A murky and confused question can't get a clear answer.
This was not intended as a forum for people to "pour their hearts out". SOme folks do use it, responsible, when they wish to do so, and vent their feelings, but they make it clear that this is a venting and that they don't expect me to read every word or even to respond to their sincere and respected outpouring.
Generally, I agree with you, the quality of input from other readers is really impressive --- and that's why I generally do ask for input from other readers, and refer some of the sincerely long-winded to that.
And people need not be greedy, as they are in this forum and not in any others --- expecting a specialist to abaondon his own life and spend 20 minutes reading their story and then providing a long response. If your problem really is too complex to summarize in a paragraph ( and the most seriously ill people I hear from, and those in the most genuine need, invariably CAN summarize --- it requires no special training, merely the self-discipline to think carefully before just typing away ) then you ought to see a shrink. We are here to provide some comment, perhaps an opinion, but NOT, NOT EVER, to provide a free full consultation nor treatment online.
If, considering the situation, you don't want to face a break-up at this time, fine, that's a valid and respectable decision. You need then either to accept the situation as it is, or to persuade him to join you in marriage counselling to attempt to change the problems.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: regular | 2008/06/20

To tell you the truth when I see a very long post I dont bother reading right through it gets tedious and boring!

Its easy to get to the point....

CS is not your buddy! He is a professional and respect him for who he is.

Reply to regular
Posted by: WTF | 2008/06/20

Kay, you obviously have not been reading some of the other replies.

Reply to WTF
Posted by: Kay In Gtown | 2008/06/20

WTF: I completely disagree with you. CS has never been rude or sarcastic in his replies to ANY of my requests for help. And he's right - we can't expect a full free psych consultation here.
I put it to you that YOU are the one who should retire...

Reply to Kay In Gtown
Posted by: WTF | 2008/06/20

Cybershrink, I think it is time for you to retire.

Your sarcasm and rudeness is helping NO-ONE!!!

Reply to WTF

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