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Question
Posted by: Nna | 2004/10/21

No to child

Im a woman of 32 yrs dating a 38 year old man.He has a 14 year old child with another woman .The mother of the child is married.I don't have a child and i will love to have one and he says he is fine with the one he has.Money is not a factor at all i've got a good job and he is a well doing business man.But then he will tell you that a child needs time that we won't have much fun and time to ourselves and lots of money .I think he is being selfish.I not getting young i need /want a child.It makes me so miserable that i make excuses not to see him lately.And i love him and he cliams he loves me too.Whta to do really.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like he's being selfish, and not seriously considering your feelings and wishes.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lientjies | 2004/10/21

In a relationship BOTH parties should be happy. One should not be happy at the expense of the other's feelings.
Having a family is a HUGE decision, much more important than deciding whether you want to buy a puppy! It is absolutely life changing and your partner should feel the same way as you!
You only have 2 options and you need to decide very very soon - within the next year.
If you are content growing old without having children then stay with him.
If you want to be a wife, mother, and a grandmother one day then find a guy who also believes in the same family values as you and will be a husband a dad and a grandfather.
You are reaching the age where your fertility is becoming a problem. Doctors reckon that is a risk for a woman of 35+ to have her first child. So hurry up!!!

Reply to Lientjies
Posted by: S | 2004/10/21

Yes you are absolutely right, Marriage first and then the child.

Reply to S
Posted by: Anon | 2004/10/21

Maybe you should try getting married to him first.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: S | 2004/10/21

R u sure he is not still married?
Yes I am afraid the reality is that he sounds terribly selfish indeed. He has a child and as a woman you yearn to have a child of your own. You are not getting any younger and need to weigh up what is more important to you right now - a man or a child?
If he truly loves you surely he would want to have the most precious gift with you - a child.
You need to make some serious decisions Im afraid and its not going to be easy. But if you have this need for a child i am sure there is a man out there who you will make truly happy and he you.

Reply to S

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