Posted by: Ru | 2012/08/30

No sex drive-AT ALL

I''m 27,my girlfriend is 24. We have been together for almost 3 years and over the past 2,our sex life has gone from great to virtually non existant. I''ve tried talking to her about it and she says its because she has " a lot on her mind"  and " stress" . Can stress or anxiety cause this? I''ve never had this experience with previous girlfriends,so I don''t have a clue as to what it could be. She''s also very conservative and wouldn''t even consider bringing toys in the bedroom to spice things up. Is this a common problem amongs women or is it me?
What do I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Hi Ru

Stress is one of the most frequent causes of reduced sexual interest. Sexual problems are most frequent when couples have different sexual needs. What is most important here is how satisfied your girlfriend is with the current situation. Would she like more sex, or is she happy with the status quo? This is a starting point for you to work together to alleviate your problem. I would also ask what your level of everyday non-sexual intimacy is, and how much time is spent creating moments that are potentially high in sexual energy.

You may have to invest time talking about the relationship and what your respective needs are. There may be ways to create a safe environment for your wife to open up to new sexual possibilities. It may be very worthwhile to see a sex therapist to help in this process.

Anthony – SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Ru | 2012/09/03

Thanks guys,I''m glad to hear that I''m not the only one. And thanks for the advice,ill get right on it and see if it helps.

Reply to Ru
Posted by: Jonathan | 2012/08/30

Max is 100% correct - this is probably the no1 complaint that men have about their Sex Lives - and yes - Stress is an absolute killer when it comes to sexdrive. In my own case - my wife loses all interest in sex when she''s under stress! Then again - you find Woman that need sex to get their stress levels down. I also agree with Max - it does not get better - it may get way way worse and no potion in the World will push her sexdrive up!! From experience I also found that Shrinks and Sex Therapists do NOT work - it is what it is you - have some difficult decisions to make. It can destroy your relationship - it drove me absolutely nuts - to the point where I thought about it all day - and I eventually started asking myself: " Is my Wife having an affair? Is she getting Sex somewhere else" ? - a question that I''m sure you''ve wondered about! Good Luck Mate - it''s a tough one and you''re in the same Boat as many other Men!

Reply to Jonathan
Posted by: Max | 2012/08/30

from the amount of posts on this forum, its almost always the woman who lose interest in sex.
and no - it does not get better with age.
Sounds like you might need a serious talk about your need for physical touch to feel loved, and perhaps her needs of why she feels used by you.

good luck.

Reply to Max

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