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Question
Posted by: Sara | 2019/06/05

no sex drive

Good day; I am 35 and my boyfriend 55, we live together now for the past year. We sleep next to each other very night, but nothing happens. We will kiss and go all the way until the point were i think it will happen now, but then he stops, leaving me to feel stupid and wondering what i did wrong. If i ask what did i do wrong he will only kiss me and say nothing and that he loves me. I ask him if he is not interested in me , he just looked at me and not saying anything. I tried everything, from candle light dinner to sleeping almost naked next to him, but nothing works. Please can you help me, i really loves my boyfriend and don't want sex to come between us. What can i do to help him to open up to me why he don't want to have sex with me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSex expert
- 2019/06/14

Since you have lived together have you had sex regularly? Sometimes becoming too domesticated or familiar in your arrangements can kill the erotic spark for certain people. They like the company, but their sexual excitement wanes. Of course, you will never know what the real issue is until you can have a reasonable conversation about it.


Only you know the best way to get him to discuss things with you (if he ever has?). Perhaps rather ask about his sexual fantasies, what about sex excites him, what would be his perfect sexual evening with you? This may seem less confrontational that questioning his sexual interest in you. Do this when you are both feeling relaxed. 

He is also 55. Does he ever masturbate? Can he still sustain an erection? Does he have any chronic health issues? Is he depressed or burnt out? Many things can adversely affect the libido. Including interest in another person. I don't want you to leap to that conclusion straight away though. Just be aware of it. 

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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