Posted by: Anon | 2009/01/07

No sex drive

I am 25 years old, my fiance is 30 years old. We have a beautiful 19 month old daughter together. However, there is a huge problem between us and I believe it could end our relationship.

We always had a very healthy sex life, would do anything, everyday if we could until I had my daughter. After that happened it' s been a downward sprial. I' m just not interested in being intimate full stop.

Like now for instance, I know I need to put in more of an effort but when push comes to shove, I just can' t do. I can not get turned on anymore. I' d be happy with sex once a month to say the least. Yet my partner wants to be intimate every day. Whether it is sex or even if I just help him out. He has a very high sex drive and I' m afraid mine is gone forever. I' m more focused on being a good mom than anything else and I' m afraid that if this continues our relationship will come to an end.

Please could you give me some tips, as we live in a very small town and do not have access to sex therapists.

Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

What you describe is a very very common problem. There is always a decline in sexual activity in sexual interest after the birth of the child. The normal focus is to rear the child and not fall pregnant too quickly again – nature’s way of managing resources Your husband on the other hand is feeling completely cut out of the situation and sidelined. When he used to be the centre of your attention, now he is playing second fiddle to everything else that is going on. He needs to know that he is still important in your life that you still want him and that he still has a role to play. Acknowledge his needs, and try and find a way to satisfy those needs. Even if it does not lead to full penetration. In addition see your Doc – at 19 months after the birth this should be getting better – let him check your hormone levels. Are you on hormone contraception? This can also cause a decline in desire

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: paul | 2009/01/08

Get your focus back on sex otherwise you are going to loose your fiance. Try and ghange your mood to what it was before you got pregnant. Relax a bit more &  talk to fiance about your feelings.

Reply to paul

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