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Question
Posted by: Suicidal | 2003/02/19

No reason to live

Dear cybershrink - i am a single 30 yr old man and i think i may be suffering from depression. i work all the time, i havent had a girlfriend in 10 years, i'm not really a people person, i'm one of the quiet guys that nobody notices so i dont get invited to drinks after work or parties or whatever. i just dont know what to do i feel worthless.

if i were to disapper, i'm sure no one would miss me, except my family. the work stress is driving me crazy, but i'm afraid to leave becos i dont think i will find another job. but i just don;t care about my own safety anymore, i drive recklessly, i sleep with prostitutes with no worries of getting aids, and i just stay away from people and stay at home. i dont even try my best at work anymore, i just go thru the motions.

whats wrong with me? why can;t i find happiness in my life? this has been going on for a year now

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear S,
Don't give up yet. You're describing a sad way of life, but one that is far from inevitable or unchangeable ; though a continued experience of failure, as in one's social life, can teach one to give up rather than to keep on trying.
Surely you need and deserve the benefits of assessment, advice, and treatment from an expert shrink, to explore the extent to which this sad situation can be transformed ? medication to help the depression can also lessen the social discomfort ; psychological treament ca help both, build confidence and comfort in social settings --- and also needs to focus on the excess work-stress you seem to be facing.
So don't give up, and make a sincere investment of time and effort into getting and working with, a good shrink's help. You may be surprised at how very much better you could be within six months.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Suicidal | 2003/02/21

Dear hang in there, been there myself

thank you for the hope you have given me. the fact that you were able to overcome this problem makes me feel like maybe there's a ray of hope for me. i'm sure you realise that when you are in my position you just feel utterly useless and like you will never recover. please tell me what you did to help yourself get over your depression - because although i know you were able to pull through, i'm not sure i can if someone doesn;t tell me what to do.

Reply to Suicidal
Posted by: concerned | 2003/02/21

Dear Suicidal, Please believe me when I say that there is is always a light at the end of the tunnel. The journey sometimes is a little rough and bumpy but we are all put on this earth for a reason and we have to go through certain experiences and meet certain people in our lives in order to make them worthwhile. I know it doesn't seem like you have purpose at this moment but just stop and think positively and about simple things around you , like the pretty colourful flowers and the fact that you are healthy and that you have a paying job. You need to smile more, even if you don't know at what, you never know who might be looking your way and fall in love with your smile. A famous saying - If you smile the world will smile with you but if you cry - you will cry alone! So why not smile and let others smile with you. Maybe your work friends think that you don't want to be with them and that is why they never invite you! If you change a little and think positively - I guarentee you - you will feel 100% better.

Reply to concerned
Posted by: hang in there, been there myself | 2003/02/21

The brief messsage above mine, I really don't understand it. Sounds pretty cold, like maybe they need the help; Nothing -- no physical illness on the face of this earth is as painful as a wonded soul. You mentioned stress -- stress is known to create anxiety disorders and chemical imbalances in the body. Medication may help, and certainly time will. I wish everyone on earth would have to go through what you are experiencing for only one day -- then the whole world would be a more compassionate place! You are probably a very wonderful, sensitive, and possibly creative person. I am sure you are loved (although you may not feel that way -- it's hard to feel anything, when depressed). Believe me, you will not always feel this way. The great thing about a bad depression is that usually a period of great peace follow, for many years. That is because everything else seems so superficial, and it is so good just to feel normal again. Many years ago I wanted to commit suicide for similar reasons. It took a long time to pull myself out of the hell. Since then, I've written 2 books, been a valuable volunteer at an important organization, raised a child, and -- most of all -- overcame the illness (with medicine). If a person had heart problems, they would not tell that person to "get over it" and go run around the block. They would tell that person to rest and take proper medications. That is my advice to you. Be easy on yourself and know that this will pass -- I personally guarantee it!!! Get on the right meds and talk to a counsellor right away.
Good luck!!!

Reply to hang in there, been there myself
Posted by: BLUE | 2003/02/20

Go ahead, make my day, and everybody elses

Reply to BLUE
Posted by: Zeena | 2003/02/19

Dear Suicidal -- There must be some truth to the saying that there are no coincidences.

Read the post below yours. She gave her e-mail address.

Believe me, "no man is an island" and suicide is NOT an answer, it only leaves heartaches and questions and sadness of a life not fulfilled. You are SO young, so I can only assume you are depressed. Go for help. Go to a GP, and if you aren't happy with what he says, ask to be referred to a psychiatrist. Don't waste your precious life -- your country needs you!!!!

And DO read the letter posted just before yours ...

Reply to Zeena

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