Our expert says:
Mothers, Lord love 'em, can retain the habits of mothering even in ways that aren't pleasing or helpful. Maybe especially because she is now facing the facts of serious lillness and dependency on you ( needing to in some ways be a child to your mothering ) , she is in a way trying to make up for it by unnecessarily mothering you and treating you as a child. There may be some things she needs from you in the way of care for her illness, but this is not 24 hours a day, and you need to find ways to live your own life in between chores and duties of care.
And do, indeed, make it clear in a calm way that what she is doing shows no respect for you, and you will not stay there to care for her unless she changes. And why can't your dad help to discourage her annoying conduct in this respect ?
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