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Question
Posted by: Frida | 2008/01/29

No luck making new friends

I have tried to make new friends but people don't seem interested. I have some really good old friends that I have had for years so I am grateful for that but with some of my friends emigrating I thought I would try make some new friends but people just don't seem bothered. They get together with you once then never get in touch with you again so in the end I kind of give up on them. Maybe people don't like making the effort to make new friends in their 30's could that be it?Should I just appreciate my old friends and be content with just having a few close friends since it seems a waste of time and effort trying to make new ones.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder whether the "really good old" friendships formed before you were actually thinking about making driends, and just happened, whereas now it has become more conscious a process, and maybe theefore a bit more worrisome. I think nowadays, a lot of people actually aren't as interested in making real freinds as they used to be. In the days before TV, let alone SMS, internet, etc., if you didn't have real-time friends, you got very bored and had little to do. Now, especially with high crime rates, people often prefer to stay at home and have virtual ( and not often genuine ) "friends" through facebook etc, and to entertain themselves online or with DVD, TV, and so on. SO I suppose part of what I'm saying is that there have been societal changes, and this isn't your fault.
Also, many people seem to busy working, to get money which they don't have time to spend properly or to enjoy.
COnsider getting involved in some charitable / NGO type worthwhile voluntary work, which you would find fulfilling, and would be likely to meet a better type of person while doing so.

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Our users say:
Posted by: CHRIS | 2008/01/29


HI FRIDA I WISH I CAN BE YOU, AT LEAST YOU HAVE SOME FRIENDS GAL! I DONT HAVE ANY I RELOCATED TO CAPE TOWN A YEAR AGO STILL NO FRIENDS! YES , I DONT KNOW WHETHER THE FACT THAT IAM MARRIED MAKES THINGS WORSE BECAUSE AT WORK I GET ALONG WITH EVERYBODY BUT NOBODY OFFERS TO VISIT ME OR ASK ME TO VISIT. WHEN I ASK THEM TO VISIT ME THEY SAY THEY DONT KNOW MY HUSBAND SO THEY CANT. I THINK ITS AN EXCUSE BECAUSE THEY ARE SINGLE THEY THINK I WILL BORE THEM WITH MARRIIAGE TALK I CONSIDER MYSELF A VERY KIND PERSON BUT NO BODY IS INTERESTED IN ME AFTER WORK.

Reply to CHRIS
Posted by: Hope* | 2008/01/29

oops, something happened.  You are lucky to have old friends, I would make the most of them.

Reply to Hope*
Posted by: Hope* | 2008/01/29

Hi Frida,  people are just so busy running around getting stuff done, sometimes I think they just dont have enough time for friendships.  It also depends on how you categorise  friends.  Do you wish to have a few acquaintances to invite over now and then or are you looking for bosom buddies?You are lucky to have old friends,

Reply to Hope*

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