Posted by: Jen | 2010/10/25

no interest in s*x

my boyfriend does not seem interested in sex. he just sleeps. it''s honestly beginning to take its toll on me. he prefers to just hold me when he is not overly exhausted that is. we could spend a week without seeing each other, he would be eager to spend time with me, but whe i kiss him passionately and tell him i missed him, he asked me if what i missed was sex. we go for weeks without even kissing. i try, but he just does not seem interested. When we spend a weekend together, he watches TV, then drink beer, smoke, and sleep on the couch, from there, to the bed, he sleeps and even struggles to wake up in the morning. he was not like this when we first met. he is kinda sensitive and i dont know where to start even talking about it. he is a good guy, and i would like for things to work out between us, but now i find his sleeping routine, a turn off. even on the days that he wants to do it, which will be like once ot twice in a month, i now find it off-putting - why on his terms, when he does not feel like just sleeeeeppping. i wonder if he doesnt see what this is doing to our closeness.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I can certainly understand where your distress is coming from. There seems to be a communication problem between the two of you. His sensitivity should not stop you or make you feel fearful to confront him about real issues which impact on your relationship and on your feelings. I would suggest sitting him down and expressing exactly what you feel. At best, he may explain his actions to you. At worst, he doesnt. If that's the case, consider seeking the expertise of a couple's therapist or a psychologist as this can have far reaching implications for your relationship. Its also possible that he may be having a sexual problem which he is too embarrassed about, he could also be having a medical problem (eg thyroid disorder which can affect sleep, energy levels, sexual dysfuction). However, whatever the explanation, it needs to be confronted so that you may be able to sort it out and move forward in your relationship.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2010/10/26

What you are describing, sounds like depression and manopause. Urge him gently to go see someone.Only when you are sure it''s neither, start thinking about other options mentioned above.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: angel | 2010/10/26

jane maybe he thinks that the two of you are dating he doesnt need to give you that much attention like when you where dating in the beginning. Talk to him and find out whats bothering him. when me and my boyfriend wre far apart from each other there was a lack of intersting in almost everything. my advice for you is to communicate with each other so that the bond btween you get stronger. you could always try to be seductive by buying you a jaw-dropping matching underwear which compliments your body, put romantic music on for him to relax and starting by masaging his shoulders and strawbery and cream might get handy..from there its up to u. it sure did worked for me and my partner

Reply to angel
Posted by: Nice Guy | 2010/10/25

Jane, i can only advice you to talk to the guy, tell him how you feel about the whole thing, you should be fine

Reply to Nice Guy
Posted by: Charles | 2010/10/25

Can you honestly go on like this Jen?

Reply to Charles
Posted by: jen | 2010/10/25

He is 37, i am 30, i really don''t think he is cheating, i think i would know or atleast sense it. he is always available, no disappearances

Reply to jen
Posted by: OMG | 2010/10/25

3 possible solutions: 1) He''s gay. 2) He''s cheating on you. 3) He''s just not into you anymore.

Reply to OMG
Posted by: Anon | 2010/10/25

Sounds more to me like he is suffering from depression, I don''t know what age you are but his behavior is abnormal no matter what the age. Let''s see what Sexologist thinks

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Kurupt | 2010/10/25

Your man is having an affair...........

Reply to Kurupt

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