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Question
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/13

no commitment to paying debt

hi all and anyone who can offer any form of advice on this one.

when i was retrenched a few of my things didnt get paid now since ive been temping ive been trying to get the stuff sorted, ive spoken to eveyone and they understand and have agreed to help under the curcumstances.

now i sit with the problem that i havent been able to stick to my promises coz my partner doesnt seem to understand what it means to keep a good name. every time i want to pay soething there is no money he says they must just wait and im saying screw that its my name. i get paid weekly and somehow my money gets used befor i can say anything. how do i get him to realise that this is serious to me. he is in major debt but says hey they must wait coz he cant do anything else. how do i get it into his head that that isnt the right attatude to have. my name is completly screwed and i cant fix it on my own but he just doesnt get it.

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Our expert says:
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I'm sure others can advise usefully --- I'm useless on money matters

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: T | 2006/11/13

Open up a new account,dont stress.
Its no big thing....

Reply to T
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/13

hey girl, i finished work early on friday and today has been hell with my pc. how you doing. i have a account of my own i just need to speak to the bank coz wheni was retrenched my account get very overdrawn. i must just sort it out. i think that is what is causing most of the problem i dont have control of my finances. and i guess its my own doing, i cant blame him realy its just that its easier than putting up with the mood. i guess its time to get tuff.

Reply to kat
Posted by: T | 2006/11/13

U didnt email me....now im cross...lol
Why on earth do u deposit ur money into his account.That already tells him that he can spend it..its in his account.Open ur own account its not hard!!!
Between urselves u have to make an agreement who will pay for what .U need a budged or at least a weekly plan.If u have a few bills to pay u need to settle them first then only spend the rest of the money u have on other things.
Besides...to be fair wit u ...i feel a man that cant stand on his own feet and needs a woman to bail him out is no man at all.Everyone has a tough time every now and again...but it seems to me that u have taken everything on ur sholder.
Open ur own account ...and speak to him abt sharing the financial responsibility.

Reply to T
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/13

this is what goes through my head on a daily basis, i realy dont know what to do. without my car he cant do his job (rep) but i cant carry on like this. im temping at the mo this job ends end november and i figure if im not working elsewhere by then then ill waitress or something but then i know there is an issue about that to, so if he doesnt want me to waitress he must pay the stuff but he doesnt give a shit so either way im screwed. and if i leave with my car he doesnt work and then he cant pay maintanance. so then my kids realy suffer. you know what, screw that its my salary and i will choose how to spend it if he walks around with a -|- face coz there is no money then i can climb in my car and take the kids out. he is just as traped as i am so i guess he cant realy say anything regardless of how i choose to pay things. you are right i am an adult and im letting him manipulate me with his moods just to get what he wants. thanks you have been a help. if he wants to leave then hey i would be better off alone then.

Reply to kat
Posted by: LD | 2006/11/13

Do you really want a relationship with a man that cant provide for you in the long run? Imagine the two of you staying in a caravan park/someone else's back yard when your old and grey.I know money cant buy love BUT where do you draw the line.Shame, man I hope you see the light

Reply to LD
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/13

well he has already got a judgement actually 2. and ive already sold my car to pay of the debt to have the judgment removed and well he still hasnt done anything about it. i agree with you about the whole thing that im an adult, but how do i go about his without causing fights in the house. he isnt the most pleasent guy to be around when there is no money but i also need to pay shit. my salary gets put into his account at the mo and he draws it, yes i know i must change that. we cant buy a house and he cant buy a car so he is screwing up my car for work, i bought a new one when i started working. i hear what you are saying but how do i do this without breaking the relationship.

Reply to kat
Posted by: LD | 2006/11/13

And what is he gonna do if a judgment is taken against him and a garnishee is put on his salary?? What if youre not gonna be able to buy a house in the future, because you are black listed.As from nest year 1/06/2007 the new credit law comes into action.To obtain credit is gonna be one hell of a problem, and if youre credit rating is bad, youre just gonna waste your time if you apply for credit of any kind.Surely you are an adult and make your own choices regarding how your money is spend? It's alway easy to blame someone lese when it comes to paying of debt.

Reply to LD

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