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Question
Posted by: Hanging In | 2004/10/18

No Commitment

We are a middle aged couple and been dating exclusivly for just over 4 years. No complications, no children at home any more.
We only spend weekends together and have a great time and a good relationship. Very compatible - except for one thing. No verbal commitment, no promises etc etc. I NEED to hear that he loves me and I would like to get engaed and plan ahead instead of carrying on the same for year and years on end. That is why I will not live with anyone. If I ask about love he says " but don't you know how I feel". He says it's difficult for him to verbalise these things but what if it is important to me. I accept that he is who he is but I do go out of my way to do what is important to him. Please tell me how to bring this up without pressure.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Zee sounds just right, about choosing place, occasion and style --- and about the need to talk about it frankly and clearly. And answer "No, I don't know how you fel, because you haven't said anything out loud or specifically.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Zee | 2004/10/18

Just talk to him when you guys are relaxed having lunch or dinner. Dont be too formal about it, just ask him where he sees the r/ship going, maybe he is not looking for a marriage as he is already old but just someone he can go out with, u ll never know. Just ask him about the future of a r/ship. U should not be afraid to speak to him by now especially after 4 yrs togethr. U know him very well by now. what matters is HOW YOU ASK HIM.

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