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Question
Posted by: Foxybrown | 2007/12/14

Nkalakatha. Again.

You are one of those people it is possible to analyse quite speedily. Not judge, analyse. That’s because yr anti-social streak give you away as an angry person, embittered by past experiences and not expecting life to offer anything beautiful anytime soon – because you don’t really believe life has much beauty.

You come onto a site where ppl like to help, encourage and console each other – and you channel your energy into lashing out at folk. You are quick to criticise those in need, those displaying weak spots and those with vulnerabilities – yet of all the ppl I’ve seen on this forum and I’ve been here years, you display great vulnerability yourself. This vulnerability you seek to hide by being brash, rude, antisocial and full of criticism and bravado. The very people who display these traits give themselves away as hurting people with considerable self-esteem issues. Such people hide behind their brashness, hoping their toughness and don’t-care attitude will disguise and protect the soft pulp underneath.

That soft pulp, in your case anyway, appears to be a gentler side of you which you choose to hide in case it is taken advantage of. Maybe in the past, you have suffered damage because you did expose it. The world at large must not be held responsible for your pain. Everything needs to be put into context. You are an angry person and when you feel yourself wanting to be nice it would appear you fight it because you are of the opinion that nice doesn’t make your world go round, nice has gotten you hurt in the past, nice has made you vulnerable to misinterpretation and nice has caused compromise in your life.

You feel you’ll get further in life, be more popular, be more admired and envied, if you hide your nice and are as abrasive as possible. Nothing can be forgiven in your world. No mistakes can be overlooked and everything that might endear itself to you should be kept at arms length. Everyone who has hurt you did it intentionally and if you cannot punish those people personally, you will punish the world at large.

This forum is for people with questions, people in pain. You carry some sort of pain too but the way to deal with it is not to be persistently critical and abusive towards other people. Cynical, abrasive, easily angered, judgmental, quick to magnify and mock other people’s mistakes...how far do you think these traits will take you?

Dare to be the real you and not the hard-a$$ cat who regards empathy and sympathy as weak traits in humans. Stop believing the real you is not good enough and the critical, pessimistic, judgmental, angry you must be a better option. The real you is the one the world wants to love, warts and all.

You’re welcome to go on a tirade about the nerve I have to analyse you, welcome to spew out foul, angry, bitter words and throw an absolute tantrum. I can always tell when ppl are in pain and hiding it.

Whatever its cause and whenever it began, you need to address the root of what hurt you in the past or is hurting you now.


Just my thoughts. Analysis, not judgment.

FB

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A valuably thoughtful set of comments, and it would have been interesting to hear Nkalakatha's comments after reading these thoughtfully. Nkalakatha, we have heard quite a bit about what you don't want, but it's not at all clear what you DO want, other than to complain, and to push us to make decisions that have to be your own, and presumably then to blame us of whatever decision you make doesn;t work out well for you. See a local counsellor and find the right solutions for you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Foxybrown | 2007/12/14

ha ha - I want a compliment from CS?? Do either CS or I have the kind of time to log on specifically to fish for compliments or dish them out - when there are genuine cases of people who need help on this site?

The day I want a compliment from CS I will post a message which states quite clearly in the subject line 'CS - a compliment if you please'

:)

Reply to Foxybrown
Posted by: nkalakatha | 2007/12/14

i have no intrest in reading whatever i'm supposed to make of your comment! all i know is that you want a compliment from cs! frankly i don't give a hoot about you. Please re -read my response about you and your people, and please i will try not to insult you - provided you leave me alone. I really don't want any relations whatsoever with you!

Reply to nkalakatha

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