Posted by: SP | 2004/10/11


Can someone please tell me, why is that nice guys always finish last?

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Our expert says:
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It depends on which direction they are running, and in which race. As he person Shaun is quoting suggests, much may depend on the way in which you try to be nice. I know that situation, in which you try so hard not to cause a problem, that this causes a problem !

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Posted by: SP | 2004/10/12

Hi Shaun,

Thanks for that, it does sort of put everything into perspective. Well, will carry on beong nice but without being a pushover and will see what happens.

Reply to SP
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/12

Hi SP,

I received this correspondence from a female once, & it does a fairly good job of answering your question. It's a bit long, but I think its worth the read coz it is from a female's perspective. Enjoy....;

I have received hundreds of email asking this very question, so I’m going to give you my point of view on this. I’ve dated my share of assholes and a handful of nice guys. Now that I look back at all the jerks I’ve dated, I have to ask myself "why?" The only thing I could come up with is that it was more of a challenge for me. I think everyone loves a challenge. But it’s a little different girls, we know that there is a challenge until you know you have him wrapped around you little finger. Once you have accomplished that, the relationship tends to end shortly after. It’s strange I know, but that’s how it works most of the time. Some women are just funny like that, they feel like they constantly need to work at their relationship, and once the work is done, they look for another position to fill. I hope I’m making some sense.

Whenever I have dated guys who were really nice, there was something that always seemed like it was missing, a challenge. They were such pushovers. It seems like they could never make a decision on their own, it would always be me making the decision. Every time we would go out to dinner, I would ask him to chose a restaurant and he would always say, “wherever you want to go”. At first it seems really nice, but after 3 months or so, you get a little fed up with the same response. Sometimes, I think we women need a man to take charge and make decisions every once in a while. I’m not sure if that is how all of you women feel, but I know it’s the way my friends and I feel. So by saying that, what advice can I give to men out there who are always asking ,”Why do nice guys finish last?” I’m not sure if anyone has the answer, but I know that once a woman has had enough assholes in her life, she’ll come to the point where she won’t put up with them. That’s when she wants to be treated like a princess and is confident in herself that she can do a lot better with her choices in men. It is also when women become more picky. I don’t think it’s any certain age, it’s a matter of tolerance.

So for all you nice guys out there, I would continue to be nice but also start making decisions when you are with a woman. Don’t let her make all the decisions for the both of you. That’s when it becomes annoying and boring. Soon the jerks will have to find another way to get women.

Until Next Time,


Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Lolo | 2004/10/11

Finish what?

Reply to Lolo

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