Posted by: Birdie | 2003/12/11

new years gift

Hi, I am not sure if this is the right forum to use?
I'm getting a eight year old girl as a present next year (getting married to her dad). We know each other well and get along great. But we will now live together and I realise that this will be a different setup, I am changing from 'daddys girlfriend' to 'stephmom'.
She does not want anything to do with her biological mother, out of her own choice. The time she spend growing up with her was traumatic, she was neclected and seen as a burden most of the time. (they were not married)

She has been living with her dad for 2 years now. I think that she has addapted well and that he takes good care of her. His family is over the moon with me and keeps on saying that they are so glad that I will now be able to teach her the things a mommy teaches a girl and she will now be less "rough". The problem is that my own mother was not a typical mother figure and I don't have any children of my own. Any tips on what I must do and anything that I must keep a eye out for. I am so excited but also so nervous at the same time!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, Birdie,
You seem to have been doing really well so far, and are unlikely to slip up from here on in. And you don't need to have had perfect mothering yourself ( fortunately for many of us ) to be excellent at the tasks that lie ahead. You're a woman, so as time goes on you'll think of womanly / female / girlie things that seem worth sharing with her ; and by simply being your own excellent self, you'll be valuable for her.
And you put things so well --- she'll be thrilled to hear that she is the best fesive gift you've ever had !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ook maar net.. | 2003/12/11


Geluk met jou voornemende huwelik.

Ek het ook amper dieselfe situasie soos jy, al raad wat ek jou kan gee is, wees haar beste maat, maar sy moet jou steeds respekteer as volwassene, wanneer julle kommunikeer, kyk mekaar in die oë, al staan jy op jou knieë. Gaan op uitstappies ALLEEN ( los pa maar by die huis) saam haar, al hou julle 'n piekniek in die park.

Reply to Ook maar net..
Posted by: Sugar | 2003/12/11

You sound lovely Birdie, I am sure you will be wonderful with your new little girl!

Reply to Sugar
Posted by: TRUTH | 2003/12/11

lT was my pleasure, may you and your loved ones have a great time over the holidays. Remember to put a special present in your step daughters stocking.

Reply to TRUTH
Posted by: Birdie | 2003/12/11

Thanx, you make my day!

Reply to Birdie
Posted by: TRUTH | 2003/12/11

l d not think you need any tips from us. Your mother maynot have been typical but she has raised you to be a warm compassionate loving women. Just has she has raised you l am sure you will raise your stepdaughter. Good luck in the future l know you will be an excellent step mum.

Reply to TRUTH

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