Posted by: Me | 2006/11/15

Never want another relationship.

I don't trust my partner for good reason. I love him life is good as long as I know where he is. He is a good father provider husband except when it comes to other women and clandestine activities which he denies or minimize as not so bad or normal. He travels a lot so I'm insecure most of the time. Marriage counselling hasn't helped with the trust issue. I go for therapy it has been of huge help, it made me realize I will never find security with my husband. I don't want to get divorced but I cannot continue living this life of insecurity suspicion humiliation and heartache. I'm past the stage of finding evidence of infidelity, I know he's up to no good. Not long ago, I was so different and would never accept this situation. Why do I accept it now, and why can't I make the change that will bring me peace? That's all I want, peace. And never, ever will I let any man touch my soul again. This pain is not worth saving my marriage. It is killing me.

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Our expert says:
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Good to hear that the therapy has been so helpful. But it sounds as though you are not yet clear as to what you really want, nor on how to get there, so maybe this needs to be the focus of your therapy now. And is the problem that you are un duly suspicious, even when he is behaving like a saint ? Or that he is genuinely misbehaving ? Or both ? And if it is so very painful, why exactly do you fel the need to "save" the marriage ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2006/11/15

I don't feel it I know it and have proof. But I am too scared to leave.

Reply to Me
Posted by: T | 2006/11/15

In a way therapy will help only if u really want to change ur thoughts.U cant keep on suspecting him even if in the past he has fooled around.And its something u wont forget it happened.Yes but what u can do is take that knowledge and be wiser.U in a away are punishing ur self.
If he really is up to something keep ur eye open and if u find out then leave but if u at the stage of suspecting and maybe he really isnt doing anything then let go.Trust is something built over yrs but broken in seconds.
Give ur self a break and try not to think of things that will up set u .Keep ur mind busy.
Do u really feel he could be up to something?

Reply to T

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