Our expert says:
It's not necessarily abnormal for someone to choose to be uninterested in sex or to choose not to engage in it --- but this would be so if they were able to make a free and informed choice about it, rather than if they had no alternative at all.
Sorry that your query seems to have stirred up conflict among some other readers. Yes, I can't avoid the advice, cliche or not, that you should go for counselling, because that is the only setting in which you could explore this depth of puzzling feelings ( or lack of feelings, in some situations ) which is, very reasonably, bothering you.
How this situation came about, we can't guess, whether you had unpleasant experiences early in life, or whether your upbringing taught you to have inaccurate ideas and expectations about sex, is hard to tell without the further explorations a counsellor could help you achieve. But this clearly does go beyond the usual, in the sense that you seem to assume that sex is all about hurting and being hurt, and in the way that you say you feel sick and disturbed even at the idea of OTHER people having sex, even if you're not in the least way involved.
It's not for a shrink to tell you that you must like sex, but you do at least need to be freed from this inappropriate and excessive sense of revulsion about it, which is handicapping you, and will, until it is properly dealt with in therapy, prevent you from having the happy relationship and children which you want. So therapy would be about helping you lose the extreme distaste and regain your freedom to make a free choice about this.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.