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Question
Posted by: Mace | 2007/12/02

Never enough

Why would your husband prefer masterbation with a condom on instead of having real sex with you? Sundayafternoon going to nightshift have to sleep. 15 minutes, 30 minutes after if he would just have to say, show me he could have sex but prefer to masturbate. Previous night had great sex. Why do I feel so inadequit? Will I never be able to satisfy him? Is he looking for something else or is this a form of stress releaving? Everything between us seem fine, he says he cares, loves me. This happens 3 to 4 times on nightshif. But he will easily be too tired to have sex if I do not initiate it. Not always but lots of times.<br><br>I have to make sense of this somehow.<br><br>

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Most men ( and many women ) enjoy masyurbation AS WELL as sex with their partner, and this is in no way related to any inadequacy of the partner. Masturbating with a condom on is not so popular, but maybe he just wants to avoid a mess. Its not entirely clear to be from your message, but it sounds as though you are saying that he masturbates when he wants to get to sleep before going on night shift --- and many people do indeed find that masturbation ( or, at least, orgasm ) is a useful sedative before going to sleep. Maybe he prefers masturbation in these circumstances to sex with you because it will be short and brief and not emotionally arousing as sex with you would be, so it will be more mechanical and more purely intended to relax him before sleep. ( Shift work messes up people's sleep quite badly ). And it can result in him at other times being genuinely too sleepy and tired to manage to have fully involved sex with you --- again, due to his exhaustion and nothing lacking in you.
Its very probably nothing to do with you being inadequate in any way, or to do with you failing to satisfy him. I'm sure it is purely stress relieving.

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Our users say:
Posted by: jake | 2007/12/03

Mace, you know what is funny yesterday my girlfriend caught me masterbating, yoh i was so bloody embarassed. with me, the thing is i love my girlfriend and unfutunately sometimes when we are having sex she gets satified and want to stop and i cannot go on if she wants to stop even when i did not come, so i go to the toilet and help myself......sht i got caught.

look i freaking dont understand why is he not doing you when you want done, in my case i have no choice, he has a choice you are there, he needs serious help.

Reply to jake

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