Our expert says:
Most men ( and many women ) enjoy masyurbation AS WELL as sex with their partner, and this is in no way related to any inadequacy of the partner. Masturbating with a condom on is not so popular, but maybe he just wants to avoid a mess. Its not entirely clear to be from your message, but it sounds as though you are saying that he masturbates when he wants to get to sleep before going on night shift --- and many people do indeed find that masturbation ( or, at least, orgasm ) is a useful sedative before going to sleep. Maybe he prefers masturbation in these circumstances to sex with you because it will be short and brief and not emotionally arousing as sex with you would be, so it will be more mechanical and more purely intended to relax him before sleep. ( Shift work messes up people's sleep quite badly ). And it can result in him at other times being genuinely too sleepy and tired to manage to have fully involved sex with you --- again, due to his exhaustion and nothing lacking in you.
Its very probably nothing to do with you being inadequate in any way, or to do with you failing to satisfy him. I'm sure it is purely stress relieving.
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