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Posted by: John | 2007/05/16

Ness

Hiya Ness

Sorry - this Scarlet Pimpernel act is going to last a few more days yet. I have a monster of a deadline to meet and I'm torn between goofing off and actual work. Given the little cartoon thundercloud (complete with jagged lightening sticking out of the sides) that floats above my boss' head all the time, I guess I am going to have knuckle down and deliver ahead of schedule. The whole company is depending on me and I dare not let them down. Heh, heh.

As for *J*I*L*L*, everything is just dandy, thank you. The little challenge I had was a little bitty thing: this weekend I met her parents. Now I know that this little rite of passage is a joy that everyone looks forward to with glee. For some reason, I viewed the whole thing as if it were going to be a bout of chinese torture. I was right.

The old man looked at me as if I was going to nick the silver while he was not looking so he stared at me a lot. I may actually have given this some thought if they polished it more often. The old duck gave me the impression that I was not, in fact, Mr. Right but closer to Mr. Not Right In The Head. Of course, she has liitle room to think such and outrageous thing, given that she herself is a little dotty. At least I do not wear diamond-patterend knee-length socks with open toed sandals. And she's not even German.

Lunch was hilarious. Ma had made her speciality and *J*I*L*L*, who for some reason thinks that this mysterious dish is famous here and accross the seven seas, didn't tell me what to expect except that I should be honoured that Ma was actually making it. It smelled like food and I am sorry that this is the closest I got to divining what the damn thing actually was. There was some rice, I am convinced, and either beef, or mutton, or perhaps even pork. I couldn't be sure as the flavour seemd to change with every mouthful. Everyone beamed a lot, obviously happy that the speciality was yet again a screaming success. *J*I*L*L*, every so often, would raise an eyebrow at me, as if to say "Wow, I mean WOW, is Ma's speciality the business or what?" and I would raise both mine, in rapid succession, replying "Are you kidding me? How did she keep this a secret from the government for so long?" *J*I*L*L* beamed back at me, promising to let me in on this well-kept secret one day. I can't wait.

Anyway, I was spooked by the fact of meeting the old people. Its the kind of thing that I had never progressed to in the few previous actual relationships I had entered into. Its jolly good thing that houses of ill repute do not have the various mothers hanging aropund the place, giving a poor chap a steely stare. It would spoil the whole thing, somehow.

Anyhow, *J*I*L*L* thought it went off rather well and the old fart, after a not-so-furtive inventory of the valuables in the dining room, almost shook my hand. Ma had mostly accepted that I was not a bad sort, I mean, I had eaten of her best and beamed like fiend throughout. *J*I*L*L* thanked me even further when we got home as she was mightily pleased (I could tell by the volume of her cries) and afterwards, as I lay there in a state when no right minded person would even dream of having any sort of conversation, save to ask for a match or to award a gold star, she looked in my eyes and told me that she could tell we were going to be very happy.

Fingers of ice clutched my heart, then, and they have not relinqueshed their grip yet.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I gather there's some excellent ointment one can use to get rid of those pimpernels.
I was planning to become a procrastinator, but somehow, I just keep putting it off.
I don't know what else you do for a living, John, but you ought also to work as a writer --- you have a major natural skill.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

Spot on John!

Im out to find another book to devour over the next few days.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

Confirmed - Well, wow, yes...ahem. You are clearly as intelligent as you are well-mannered. And you have such good taste too!

Reply to John
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

You are clearly an unsual person, Shae, in many respects. I have the faintest feeling that some men may be intimidated by you and I mean that in the most complimentary way possible. Unlike me, of course, who would not hesitate to grab you roughly and place you across my lap and paddle you thoroughly. The only thing that stops me, besides the little annoying geographical thingie, is that you might enjoy it and thereby rob me my fun.

Reply to John
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

Perhaps thats for the best. That happens to be my ex's name also. He's the one i nearly confessed lifelong allegiance to.

Ok ok, amazon chick if you must.

It derives from my fascination with birds of fire or more esoterically, spiritual warriors.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

I had a good chuckle, Shae. As for my brother Ryan, no, he is married.

Warrior dame!

Reply to John
Posted by: confirmed!! | 2007/05/17

I am in love with John!

Reply to confirmed!!
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

I would prefer if you told me more about this brother of yours......as opposed to that concoction that somehow managed to get posted. Is there a spellcheck option somewhere here?

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

My interest in your ethnicity was peaked by your mentioning of '"chinese torture" above and your reference to the food. Was imagining poor John (or do you refer dear:-) ), chopsticks in hand, being stared down by the spectacled chinese dad over the rim of his litttle tea cup.

Seems we have a commonality. My dad's part Indonesian, part Mauritian and mom part Java, part English. I get away sometimes with professing to be Indian but my yellow skin and asian eyes often leave people with the impression that im some breed of tropical island hoola girl. I quite enjoy playing the foreigner game when engaged by a questionable fella for conversation. It helps that i speak four languages.

You have a very interesting family tree.

PS, so, how about you tell me more anout this brither of yours??? Like, is he still on the proverbial shelf eagerly awaiting to be 'rescued' by a warrior dame?

Reply to Shae
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

I turn my back and look what my two best friends end up doing: fighting and kissing and making up. A serious comment: there are not many people as bright as the two of you on this forum (sorry if that offends anyone) and I am glad you could both see the shallow side of life in this instance.

Lucifer, after breathing his exotic mixture of sulphur and brimstone all over me, and also after making unneccesarily nasty comments about my progress on the project, then proceeded, again, to impress upon me the importance of the document I am writing. Saying "Oh" and "ah" seems to soothe his fevered brow and I left his office with renewed vigour: I was now intent upon diving into a Steers King Burger.

I am happy to report that Mr. Steer did not disappoint me. Although Shae's classy menu does appeal, I note that it lacks a slice of chocolate cake. Life is not possible without chocolate cake, Shae, and you must correct this serious omission from your otherwise impeccable menu at once. And, Ness, your flash is appreciated. I have cut and pasted it in my scrapbook, my journal of conquests, if you like. It is in its 14th volume, well-thumbed and much sought after.

So: I am of a certain age (45, I am certain of that). I have an interesting background, I think. My grandfather was German and, like so many of his countrymen, immediately married a coloured woman while walking down the gangplank of the ship that brought him here, before he had unpacked his bags. My father, the eldest of this union that Hitler would have frowned upon had he not been so distracted by being at war with everyone else, grew up and married my mother, an indian woman. They had four children and, when we gather, we look like a poster of the united nations, all four of us representing different countries. My sisters look German enough for Hitler to have used them for his poster on Aryan looks. My younger brother would be able to walk in the streets of Mumbhai and he would be welcomed as one of the boys, no questions asked. I do not have my mother's fine features or my father's rugged ones. I am something in between and, bereft as I may be of the best of both their physical appeals, I like to think I have the best of both their personalities (and this does not mean that I enjoy a good beer with my curry!).

So Shae, I don't know how much this has to do with a succesful single life (precious little, in my own view) and I suspect that you won't have to be single for as long as I chose to be. In fact, had I not inadvertently stumbled upon my ex-wife uproariously making love - okay, they were rutting in my kitchen - with my neighbour, I may still have been married today. That said, the single is life is indeed enjoyable and I have to confess a certain longing for it now and then, since I met Jill.

Reply to John
Posted by: rose | 2007/05/17

sorry for imposing, but cant everyone just learn from this and see how delighting it is to have decent, meaningful(even meaningless :-)) thought provoking chats? especially the annex rivals...

Reply to rose
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/17

You could be right. Ok John I flash my tits....


(0) (0)


How was that???

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

Ah, the male preoccupation with the id force.

Certainly not John? No, the lights are actually on in that one. Doesnt come across as a beer slinging, mud wrestling caveman.

Mind you, he hasnt responded at all so he could very possibly be finishing that McSteers Supa Meal off with popcorn and a slush puppy while being entertained at our expense.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/17

Too funny.... we may have the same ex's

Shame now don't ruin Johns fun... he was probably running in with bikinis and mud.... (LOL all boys love a cat fight)
Hes probably in tears now....

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

Stress? .......................Nooooooo, not I! Doesnt go well with chicken soup.

I had this mental picture of you (or rather my image of you) come marching with all my ex's in tow to 'sort me out'.

HA, You did say dogs didnt you?

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/17

LOL for someone who does not do bitchy you just got a gold star.....

Don't stress woman, I was only teasing....

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

If only i had it in me to stoop, alas i am above it.

Also, insecurity is such an unattractive trait and so out this season.

So unnecesary, really.

if only you had the ability to form a clear deduction you would know the difference between comraderie and flirting.

No need to panic Ness, i dont do bitchy.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/17

John.... I think she's flirting with you... should I get the dogs???

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

Deep fried camembert starter, rump steak - medium with hot veg and savoury rice for main's, brandy tart and hot custard for dessert.

In the real world tho it's gonna be woolworths chicken noodle soup.

Back to your enquiry. I ask simply because im curious and it invokes a hopefulness that i am not doomed to a life of spinsterhood - considering that i enjoy my own company more than is acceptably healthy. And ofcourse because you're such an interestingly intriguing character with a flair for the written word which is always entertaining. So, if one loner can find romantic utopia...then by golly so can i!

As for your latter enquiry - since i am prone to having an opinion on almost anything, when asked the basis on which i form one its rather difficult to respond when the supposition in question is not defined. My response tho................intuition.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

Ooops, Lucifer is calling me. That burger will have to wait....later

Reply to John
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

Being a proscrastinator (and thats not pervy at all), I think I'll pop out now and get something to savour and THEN come back to work.

What can I get for Ness?

Reply to John
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/17

Stop it, your making me hungry!!

Reply to Ness
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

Chicken? You think? I was kinda leaning towards a Steers Burger...now, if only I could have the Steers patty on a Mcdonalds bun with Macdonalds chips...hmmm!

Reply to John
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/17

I know the feeling. Chicken ....

Reply to Ness
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

Always, my dear, always. I thought you may still be busy and I am taking a break now (read: slacking off).

I really should be getting back to work but I find myself putting obstacels in my way. I wonder what I can have for lunch?

Reply to John
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/17

John... are you not talking to me?

Reply to Ness
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

Ah, Shae, you never disappoint, always asking the the most interesting questions. I will answer you but, I'm curious: what makes you ask and how dis you form your supposition?

Reply to John
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

Hmmmm, i kind of warm up to the idea of a beau staring at me all dreamy like and muttering how happy we're gonna be.

Im curious, are you of asian ethnicity? And, (if you dont think im being too nosey) how old are you?

It would apear to me that your Jill is quite the talented lass, having the femme prowess to ensnare a charming catch such as yourself.

My guess would be that they must add sandalwood or some equally intoxicating stimulant to their specialities!

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/17

Oh my gorgeous friend, I cried with laugher. Brilliant and I've very happy you did not steal the silver, I on the other had would have taken a spoon on principal.

My weekend worked out as expected, only instead of getting drunk on the Saturday I did it on the Friday and arrived at the wifie gathering feeling like death and looking like something the cat dragged in. I think that would have been fine but the fact that I did it with another bottle of wine in hand scared the little women a bit. I must admit that I did spend the afternoon being pampered and got to sleep on the couch while they minding the kids, brought me gallons of water and made me lunch.... I now love my wifies... even book club is looking better

Sunday (mother day) reminded me that I prefer the dogs. I kids went out of thier way to me as shocking as possible. WHY oh WHY did we have kids??? What exactly was the point? So I spent Sunday night sucking on the bottle of red I was band from drinking the night before and told Steve he is never allowed near me again of fear of falling pregnant.

Any way, I have to run now. I have clients arriving now so best I do some work

LOVES HUGS AND KISSES

Reply to Ness
Posted by: John | 2007/05/17

Hi Shae

Yes, I did. And still do simply because I think I am tiring of a life of being single, perks and lack of ball and chain notwithstanding. It seems to me that a fully functioning adult should at the very least be able to establish and maintain lasting and meaningful relationships.

So I met Jill and I like her. A lot. Its simply that I am so used to being alone - for example, it is not at all strange for me to spend an entire weekend at home without speaking a single word to anyone (however, if cursing the neighbours dog counts then thats about it) so its tough for me to have someone hanging around all the time and wondering what I am thinking.

Its has its' moments, I suppose, but its' hours take some getting used to.

Reply to John
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/17

John, im a little confused............dont i recall somewhere in a previous post you mentioning something along the lines of actually wanting this?

Or was the speciality the deal breaker............?

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Carol | 2007/05/16

That was hilarious .. dont know the background tho , or is it a joke ???

Good anyhow

Reply to Carol

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