Our expert says:
Noenoe, it sounds as though you need some professional support to manage some of the negative associations...HOwever, the fact that you feel desire to be sexual with your new husband is positive and perhaps one of the things you can do is to try to focus on your body and your body's response (e.g. what feels good, tell him what feels nice or how to move to enhance the sensation) in order to assist yourself with arousal...another option might be to try a lubricant or sex toy to facilitate arousal if you already have the desire. Hypnosis may work - I am haven't read much by the way of evidence for this, but that doesn't mean it won't work! If you do go down this route, try to find a registered professional with accreditation in hypnotherapy. You could identify such a person either via your GP, the internet, HPCSA or PsySSA (psychological society of South Africa). Alternatively, try to identify a therapist (psychologist, sexologist, or counsellor) in your locality who has an interest in/experience with such matters.
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