Posted by: Girl | 2008/08/06

Needy girlfriend - for readers'  opinions

I have a question you guys. Am I a needy nag or is he just not into me? Here is why I am wondering:

I am in a long distance relationship (CT - JHB). We see each other maybe once in 2 months and I am the one who has to do the travelling. He doesn' t call unless I call. He says he knocks off work late and does not like calling at night. We haven' t spoken for a week and he won' t call until I do. He doesn' t sms either. Even if I send him a simple " good morning"  or " good night"  sms I get nothing back.

He doesn' t work on Mondays, so that' s when I call him so as not to dusturb him at work but sometimes he drops the call without answering. I have spoken to him about it, very calmly, and he just says he is trying and he doesn' t want to fight.

The distance is so frustrating - no kisses no hugs no sex and now no talking....

I get the sense that he is not into me but I am also wondering if I am not over reacting or being too needy. I hate to be clingy but I do need some attention - and it' s embarassing to hang on to someone who is not into me. I am so confused.

What do you think: am I clingy or reasonable.

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Our expert says:
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Let's look at it in some other ways --- what about all this convinces you that he IS into you ? ANd, if you stopped trying so hard, would there actually be any relationship left ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Girl | 2008/08/07

Thanks you guys. It helps to know that I am not over reacting. It is definitely time to cut my loses. I deserve better and I am not settling for this.

Reply to Girl
Posted by: butterfly | 2008/08/07

Im in a lng distance relationship &  my boyfriend calls me everyday we see each other atleast 4 times a month &  he works odd shifts &  long hours but he makes time for me. I think you boyfriend probably has someone else Im sorry sweety but good luck wish you all the best

Reply to butterfly
Posted by: james | 2008/08/07

i have a needy girlfriend and you ma lady you are not anywhere close- sht some guys have it good- where is this dude working it sounds like he is working in hell, , , , he is taking advantage of you and he unfutunately does not seem to care about you - lets not even talk love-

chances are he even has a lunchbox there- so if i were you i would stop calling it is embarrasing and demeaning to you to go after somebody who thinks this less of you...

i call my girlfriend everysingle day and i work too, , , ,i am not saying he should call you everyday but if he cared he would make an effort to try


Reply to james
Posted by: anon | 2008/08/06

Dont waste your time on this the sounds of it he is giving you the signals his not interested and moved along.
Do the same girlfriend....

Reply to anon
Posted by: anon | 2008/08/06

i think he ' s moved on!! why are you the only one doing the trying ???

Reply to anon
Posted by: C2 | 2008/08/06

You are resonable and know what you want. The thing here is that he is not interested in you, or you feelings. Tell him to take a hike, he is making a fool of you. Lifes too short for fools like him. Find someone with the same values as you, and then you will find yourself not asking these questions.

Reply to C2
Posted by: Garfield | 2008/08/06

You are completely reasonable ... and unfortunately, it does not sound as if he is really into you at all.

Seeing each other 1 every 2 months - all due to only your efforts - ... that is not a proper relationship .... surely you deserve a whle lot more?!!

Reply to Garfield

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