Posted by: Worries for future | 2008/09/15

Need to be honest with him

Please help. My husband and i got married obout 8 months ago. We are very happy in all ways except one. Or should i say, i am not happy with our sexual relationship.
I know he loves me very much, but there is no sensuality. Its just sex and then its finished - no foreplay, no kissing (only sometimes) and i dont feel the love - if you know what i mean.
He is not romantic at all when it comes to that - its like we do it because we have to. I did get toys and we experimented, but that still does not help with the sensuality side of it? How do i tell him and what can i do to make it better??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It sounds like you need to help him to understand that your needs are different to his, and that would really turn you on is if he did ... (whatever you want him to be doing). Try to give him some gentle guidance during a sexual experience, perhaps play with him a little by teasing him with sensual pleasure before relieving his frustration then ask him to do the same. Depending on how you feel about soft porn, perhaps you could check out for yourself some romantic porn that demonstrates this, then watch with him and ask him to do the same?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sg | 2008/09/15

It is all about communication between the partners.You need to talk to him and tell him your concerns.All too often one of the partners gets too lazy or into a rut and does little or nothing to keep the fire burning.
Maybe you should suggest that you alternate who is the " leader"  with your lovemaking ie the first time it might be you so you lead the way by saying what you want,when and how.The next time it is his turn and so on.

I hope this helps

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