Posted by: TORN | 2005/11/24


My partner and I have been together for the last 14 months ... we've successfully handles plenty of tough issues and I am very happy to stay in this blossoming relationship.
The issue here:my partner has been offered a promotion (albeit unconfirmed at this stage) in another city - this is an excellent oppertunity for him as I know that he feels that he's reached a ceiling in his present position and oppertunities like this have got be grabbed! I have also recently taken up a new postion in a company where I am very happy to stay -- there is plenty of oppertunity for me to grow where I am - and I am not happy to pack up and leave ,find a new job .etc .etc. My initial response to the news was excitement and the oppertunity of spreading our wings together and discovering new things about myself and our relationship really appealed to me. Sadly my feelings have changed--I realise that my excitement was for my partner and not really for me! I do not want to move not want to lose him not want to have a long distance relationship! I know that I cannot have it all ! The difficult thing for me right now is telling him how I feel .. what's important for me right now .. I love him so much ..I feel selfish but also know that I am being true to myself ..I have been down that road of over compromising myself and will not go there again . I realise only the two of us can decide what we want for ourselves and our relationship but some opinions would be valued.

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Posted by: TORN | 2005/11/24

Thank you so much for your insight! YOU HAVE HELPED PLENTY! :-)

Reply to TORN
Posted by: Parabola | 2005/11/24

Let him go, unless you truly know in your heart of hearts that he is the one you want to be with for the rest of your life.

If he is the one for you, then one of you has got to comprimise. Think of it this way: If you are going to start a family, then who ever is going to make the most money should be the one you both go with... that way you can raise a successful family together and live a decent life.

If he's not, and it's just great now while it lasts, then don't ruin possible success for him and for yourself.

It will be harsh, but we get over these things. You only live once and probably only have 10 shots in all to find true happiness. Don't compromise this discovery by loitering in indecision.

Reply to Parabola

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