Posted by: Carol | 2007/12/09

Need some help

CS how are you and megamoggy ??? well I hope.

My eldest (the druggie) is giving me no end of grief again .. this time though im really gatvol.

14 months ago he met an elderly gay man who decided to try and help him .. I hadnt met the guy but no matter , he paid through his nose for detox programmes gave the "kid" a home and put him into rehab , I wouldnt have the "kid" back with me because hubs and I had had enough of drugs, deceit and all the drama that goes with it
The "kid" came to visit us about 6 weeks ago and I could immediately see that the deceit hadnt gone and he would quite cheerfully lie to his sponsor .. I told him in no uncertain terms that If I heard him lying like that again I wouldnt welcome him back in my home .

Two weeks ago I get an email .. he needs money is leaving rehab and going to Jo'burg , his sponsor wont help him and life is terrible etc etc etc ....I refuse to give him money and try to advise that he stays put !!!!

The sponser phones me a week ago .. distraught that the "kid" has vanished .. I forward him the email and he knows nothing of the "kids" plans...... the man is truly angry and hurt after all he has spent a fortune on the blasted "kid" and I start to try and find out whats going .... the "kid" has indeed left and is telling all and sundry that the sponser wanted a relationship with him and treated him badly blah blah blah ..... now this "kid" is nearly 25 !!!!!!!! a large strong young man who I know for a fact will stop at nothing to get money ... and if he had decided to turn gay it didnt bother me because it is after all his life not so ??????????

And its not as though he was being molested , I know he sold himself on the streets for drugs!!!!

The sponser is hurt and the hell in .. and is phoning me every night hoping for news ..... what must I do CS ..... I feel sorry for him ..... I dont feel sorry for my son who has done the same thing to so many other people (use and abuse)

To me the issue here is not the mans sexual habits but the deceit involved .... couldnt my son have been straight with him ????????? this is basically all this poor sod wants is an answer .. which I cant give him ....

All I can do is to not have anything to do with my son until I get the truth !!!!!!!!!

Im so tired of all this c%$p .. enough now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Carol,
Pity that the kid slid back onto drugs after having done so well for quite a time. Sad to hear that he has treated an apparently sincere sponsor in such a shabby way. Try to help the pooor guy understand that while you understand his concerns, this kid, especially when on drugs, gives NOBODY a straight or sincere answer.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: jcat | 2007/12/10

Oh dear....

Don't have any advice really, just sending you a big cyberhug.
Be strong - you and h/b have earned it.

Reply to jcat
Posted by: anon | 2007/12/10

Have you ever contacted an organisation called Tough Love. Sounds like you love your son but not his behaviour. You are angry and hurt about what your son has done. Have you ever had some counselling for yourself. It must be very difficult for you right now to deal with all of this. The question is why do you have to feel responsible or give an answer to the Gay benefactor. You cannot take the responsibility of your sons behaviour, he is an adult and has made his own choices.

The Gay Benefactor also sounds hurt and angry, looking to you for answers, which is unfair.

Reply to anon

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