Our expert says:
If she's cooking onions because she has an obsession with cooking onions, then she's doing it for HERSELF< and you have nothing to be grateful for. IF you need cooked onions, and ask her to help cook them, then you can be grateful if she helps you. And in situations like this, when a whole set of relationships seem threatened buy something as trivial as onions, you can know that there are fat more points of concern and friction, and the onions were just one event that stirred up and released some of the resentments thaty are lurking already. Marriage and family therapy / counselling, even a few sessions, could help, but they'd probablty refuse to take part, p[referring to see it as all about you being unreasonable.
??? makes excellent sense. MIL may indeed have been unthinking and annoying to you, without ever actually intending that --- she probably felt she was being helpful, and felt very hurt and unappreciated. Your husband probably also felt she was being helpful, and may find it hard to understand your reaction. You had very reasonable reasons for feeling upset, probably exaggerated by the raging hormones of pregnancy.
I suspect that if you go home calmly this-evening, and apologise for causing so much upset ( and that's a fair apology --- you did not intend to cause the upset ) --- they may well not only accept it, but even apologise to a degree and in different ways, themselves.
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