Posted by: Confused | 2008/06/10

Need some advice


i hope you guys can help me.

a couple of weeks ago, i was at a friends house, and got horrably drunk (though i am actually sure someone spiked my drink) as i didnt drink that much. the next thing i remember is having sex with my friends bf. needles to say i totally freaked out, got my clothes and left. my friend called me and tried to explain that i consented to having sex with her bf.

i never went to the police as i felt i didnt have proof, but this thing is really bothering me now. could i have been so drunk ( i only had 2 single wiskey's and 3 shooters- apple sours) i couldnt possable have been that drunk, could i?

just for the record, i m a lesbian, and cant imagine having sex with man (no offence men, its just who i am)

Hope you can give me some advice!

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi to you Confused, welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.

It certainly seems that you have been raped - a very serious situation! I strongly suggest that you seek 1) counselling and 2) legal advice.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: lerato | 2008/06/13

hey confused, i agree with everyone, and think you should just go to the police and report this morons, and dear its not your fault, dont blam your self and dont ever be embarrased you deserve better in life, does aint friends, take care sweet heart and keep it real, oh and go t o the police.

Reply to lerato
Posted by: Confused | 2008/06/12

Your "friends" belong in jail !!!

Seek conselling AND legal ADVISE ASAP !!!

They can never be regarded as friends for what they did.

They belong behind bars and just maybe then they will learn to respect not only you but the rest of us too.

Please let us know what is happening with this ....


Reply to Confused
Posted by: H_T | 2008/06/11

My god!!! I’m totally shocked at what has happened to you, I thought it only happened in movies. I can only imagine how you must feel being violated and betrayed like that.
Be Strong Sweetie

Reply to H_T
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2008/06/10

We all make mistakes. The most difficult part is forgiving yourself for your stupidity. As long as you learn from your mistakes and stay away from them. AND GET TESTED. It is free, it is simple, it is not an embarrassment and you owe it to yourself. You will feel much better once you have the test done. Then get up, look up and forget about it as a bad experience. O, and keep on ignoring them, they are most probably sick with worry – let them stew. Keep well

Posted by: confused | 2008/06/10

i kinda blame myself for what happened. i knew that they wanted i 3some with me (they had mentioned that at a previous visit we had) but i told them i cant because i cant sleep with a man.

i did not go to get blood test because i blame myself for what happened. did i mybe give them a reason that they believed i wanted to do it? or did they just want to do it so badly they didnt care what i said.

i few week before this happened, i went to them for braai, and even that night i thought something was weird because i got drunk really really quickly. why was i so dumb to go back there if i knew something wasnt kosher. thats when i start to think that maybe i deserve what happened to me.

Reply to confused
Posted by: Apache_boy | 2008/06/10

Eish, spiked drinks... i also think your drink might have been spiked...

If i understand you correctly, there is a blank time gap? That sounds really dangerous. And someone under the influence of narcotics cannot (this is only my opinion) consent to sex.

When did this happen? If you had blood tests soon afterwards they might have found traces of the drug in your system...

But like the others said, they are not your friends... i mean with friends like those, who needs enemies? And his girlfriend was fine about what he did? Something doesnt sound kosher there...

But good luck and i hope you can get through this horrible experience...

Hugs n love

Reply to Apache_boy
Posted by: confused | 2008/06/10

thnx for the advice,

i have however not spoken to them since that night. i ignore their calls and erase their sms's

Reply to confused
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2008/06/10

Agree with Deeve. Your so-called friends leave much to be desired. Get away from them, and if you think you were raped, well, go and make a case..

Posted by: Deeve | 2008/06/10

Your drink must have been spiked...and after all of this, I would seriously question your so called 'friendship'! Sounds like you were set up! Who cares what sexual orientation you are, sex with a 'drunk' woman is more than often non consentual.

Reply to Deeve

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.