Posted by: Not in the mood | 2012/11/13

Need my sex drive back

Hi me and my hubby haven''t had sex in a longtime he is in the mood but I am not life has being a little roght lost my mum 11 months ago and had a baby and he is haveing trouble with ears but I need my sex drive back what can I use as well I am on the pill cheers

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Our expert says:
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It sounds like you have had a hard time recently. Losing a parent is very draumatic and you have a young baby who is not well and so I am sure that you are not getting much rest at night. It is important to know that having a lowered sex drive would be very normal under these circumstances but it may also be a good idea to have a medical checkup to rule out any physical cause. I would recommend that you chat about losing your mum, are you depressed because of this are you coping with the loss. Also you have just had a baby. Are you eating well and looking after yourself. Are you iron levels low, are you taking adequate supplements. Are you still breast feeding? Can you rest in the day? Are you able to get a break, do you have someone that you can trust to look after you baby so that you can get some rest or spend some time out, just the two of you, without the baby? Are you spending any time together? it is so imprtant that you focus on your relationship and the intimacy that you would have shared before your baby was born. You need to schedule time out together. It is difficult to feel in the mood if you are exhausted and all you feel like doing is sleeping. What also helps, is to speak to your husband. You may want to explain that you desire being close and perhaps start with being close, lots of physical touching, caressing, massaging. Don't jump back in at the deepend. There should not be pressure to have intercourse initially. What you are trying to do, is to bring back those feelings with the pressure removed for intercourse. You need to focus on these good feelings which you share and not focus on performance. It is really about staying connected and intimate. I hopethis helps.
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