Posted by: Bride to be | 2008/07/31

need legal advice please


If there is any other forum for this… Please advise.
Where can I get advice on the following: I’ m getting married for the 2nd time. I’ m 42 female, divorced with 2 teenaged children.
I’ ve bought a house 5 years ago and done extensive renovations to it, which increased the market value a lot. I’ ve really worked hard for what I have acquired over the years and have a will which states that my 2 children are the only beneficiaries. What happens to my assets now I’ m going to get married? He doesn’ t have anything of real value… no house..just a small business which he started about 3 years ago… which is getting to be quite profitable. After we married, and he pays half the bond(which he suggested… )… will he be entitled to half the house if anything should happen to me?? What changes do I need to do to my will?? How does “ with accrual..or without accrual work? Can anyone who experienced this kind of scenario give me advice? We will be attending a pre-marital course where these things will be discussed and I intend to consult a lawyer..Just thought I could hear from you guys as well… .

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Our users say:
Posted by: Linda | 2009/02/16

Who is this, and I just sent a letter to you. How am I going to be able to get you reply?

Reply to Linda
Posted by: Linda | 2009/02/16


I know you are a shrink. But I need legal advice somewhere.
I am living with a man for 21 years. I used to so work for him until my second pregnancy. I have two children from him.
I am 38 and he is 45 years old. My son is almost 18 and my daughter 15.
I am living with him (it seems for me) for a lifetime (it feels like it anyway).
The problem is, I depend on him fully. He takes things away from me slowly and surely. He told a few times these last few months that if I leave I will have nothing. My life is not poor(because of him) but I can not take his possesiveness anymore!
I will have nothing without him.

I went to a place with him the other night and I caught him with another woman.

He didn' t care! I ran away and nowhere to go, I am so sad and I felt so depressed. He came to fetch me in the middle of the street. I was crying so much. And so humiliated.

He looks after me well (financially) yes. But If I want to leave him, are there any legal right for me to have at least something? Or am I trapped forever. I hardly worked in my life an I have nowhere to go. I want to be capable to leave without being scared. Even if I don' t leave, I want to know is there a legal right that I have if I go away or if he throws me out or if he has an affairnwhen I catch him again and he threatens me or if I just want to leave?
Will I have a right? I am so sick of being domineered (if thet is the right word), belittled, and humiliated.


I am just a human being


Reply to Linda
Posted by: Attorney | 2008/07/31

Leona, yes but with your spouse' s consent and in absence of any prejudice to the him/her.

Reply to Attorney
Posted by: Leona | 2008/07/31

Nia, tell me smthn, im married in community of property, is there anyway i can change it to COP without gettinga a divorce?

Reply to Leona
Posted by: Leona | 2008/07/31

sorry i meant to say out of COP.

Reply to Leona
Posted by: Nia | 2008/07/31

If you get married in COP it means that both of you own everything - meaning that if you split up half is his and if you die, half of everything is his. You can leave your half to your daughters.

If you get married out of COP it means that yours remains yours for ever and his remain his, meaning that if you split up you get what you had before the marriage as well as everything that you can proof is yours and earned by you during the marriage. And you can leave your daugthers anything you own. This require very good record keeping and documentation to be able to proof what belongs to whom. If he helps you to pay the house, you must keep good record because you or your estate will have to pay bach whatever he contributed to him with interets, but he will not any share in the profit.

If you get married out of COP but with accrual, everything you owned before the marriage remains yours, but everything gained while you are married will be split in half. Thus you keep what you had, he keep what he had. When you split up then they add his earnings while married to your earnings while married and then divide that by half for each of you. You can leave your daughters only that what is in your half. You will have to get a valuation on your house before you get married. That value will remains yours, but if the house goes up in value half of that profit will be his as well.

Reply to Nia

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