Posted by: Anon09 | 2007/03/06

Need Help Please!!!

Im a 21 year old girl who is a healthy size 14. I'm 1.79m tall and am a bit overweight. Most of the time I don't have a problem with my weight, I mean what is wrong with a girl who has some curves? Its my mother who is has the big problem with it (who is a tiny size 8). She is constantly suggesting new diets and trying to change me, I feel that I will never be perfect enough for her. Unfortunately I take after my fathers side of the family and we all have struggled with our weight. This has driven my mother and I apart and I become depressed and gain more weight, a vicious circle, I know. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful boyfriend who accepts me for who i am and is always there for me, he is what keeps me going.

My question is: How do I lose this weight sensibly (About 20kgs), deal with my mother and stop this vicious circle of weight gain? Does anyone have some suggestions or advice?

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Our expert says:
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Dear Anon09
I am horrified that you are being victimised like this and by someone who should love you and support you. However, these things do happen, so now that you are 21 and of legal age you can handle this problem by yourself. You don't mention you present weight so that I can calculate your BMI to see if you are overweight or not. A size 14 does not sound excessive. Put it this way, if your height is 1.79 (which is tall for a woman), then your ideal weight would be 70 kg. Do you weigh much more? if not, join a gym and firm up so that you have lovely curves. If you do really weigh 90 kg (70 + the 20 kg you say you need to lose), then you need to also reduce your energy intake by eating an energy-reduced, low-fat, high-fibre diet (click on 'Diet' at the top of this page, 'Weight loss', ‘Balanced diet' and then on 'Slimming Diet' for a copy of such a diet). Now, an important factor in overweight is depression, so I would recommend that you seek the help of a clinical psychologist (ask your gp to refer you or look in the Yellow Pages under 'Psychologists'). The psychologist will help you to sort out your feelings of frustration and depression caused by your mother's attitude and also teach you how to cope with the situation. It is really worthwhile to get this baggage off your back while you are still young and your whole life lies ahead.
Holding thumbs that you resolve the problems and lose weight (if you actually need to).
Best regards

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