Posted by: Oops | 2011/10/31

Need help

Hi there, i need serious help. i am a happily married woman with a 2 year old. however i have lost all interest in sex. i am on zoloft, i know that lowers the sex drive, but i seriosly need to do something about it. My husband does not complain if i say no, but i feel bad. i will also never initiate sex first - which is actually bad, because sex is good when we do have it.... are there any products i can use / drink to make it a bit better? please help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I think it might be worth your while to read up a bit on the disparity between men and women and their sexual response cycle. By understanding your own body better it might alleviate some of the guilt. Furthermore it might be worth exploring couple counseling to assist the two of you to understand one another a bit better – the coming of the first baby often impacts on the relationship as you both all of a sudden are not only lovers but are parents as well – so the relationship changed and you need to find one another again.
Seeking the professional assistance from a psychologist that specifically deals with sexual concerns might be a good option to consider.

For further information please consult SASHA’s website at For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2011/11/01

You need to go see a dr and certainly not listen to the idiot above

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Mohammed | 2011/11/01

It seems you never enjoyed real sex. Your hubby /BF many not be good on bed. Sex is wonderful thing. I can advice you go for group sex with four or five strong men. Have lots of foreplay with them then get rammed your pu*ssy one by one. This action will make you horny ever.

Reply to Mohammed
Posted by: JR | 2011/11/01

Sex starts in the brain. Its a frame of mind. All the pills in the world are not going to change how you think about sex, only you can do that. Stop telling yourself how much you hate it, instead think of the pleasure you can give your husband and what a happy man you can make him, and like you said yourself, when you do it''s good so think about the good feelings, and what leads to those.

Fantacise about everything you ever wanted to try. The more it pushes the boundaries, the better. This does not mean that you are going to actually go and do it, but I find just thinking about it is a huge trun on. It works, even when I am beyond exhausted and its the last thing in the world I feel like ( and I know that a two year old is extremely exhausting work, not to mention you probably hold down a full time job) if I think sex and feel sex, I start needing sex. I dont know if that makes any sense to you.

Attempt as soon as you can to get off the Zoloft. I took it after my first child was born and the post natal depression along with various other factors hit me hard. The side effects as you mention were horrendous.

I am sure things will improve once you get off it. It was obviously prescribed by a psychiatrist, because I cant see a normal gp prescribing such a potent drug. I had a couple of anti depressants before the psychiatrist I went to at the time settled me on Prozac. That was over 16 years ago. The " new"  prozac is a drug called Remeron, which has much less side effects than the more old fashioned drugs. Can you not speak to your shrink and ask him to maybe change your AD ?

Good luck, I wish you all the best.

Reply to JR
Posted by: ricki | 2011/11/01

Just for what its worth... you are in the same boat as millions of other women.
There are many products on the market for men, but for some obscure reason....none for women.

Reply to ricki

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