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Question
Posted by: Shadow | 2007/12/06

Need help

i am 23 years old. I am engaded for 2 and a half years we've been together for 4 and a half years now. i have been molested at the age of 12-13 and again when i was 16. i am not a contact person- so i seldomly will make contact with my fiance. he is a contact person. what can i do to change myself to be more of a contact person? I need some advise please.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

See a good realistic counsellor, preferably one using the CBT method, and avoid at all costs anyone of the analytic sort, as they'd take forever and fail to be helpful. Counselling can help you both improve your self-esteem and to feel comfortable and free with wholesome physical contact
And do discuss things with the folks on the sexual abuse forum.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2007/12/07

Shadow, counselling helped me change from someone who flinched when a man touched me, to someone who is happily married and very comfortable showing affection physically. Please do yourself a favour and see someone to help you overcome this.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Shadow | 2007/12/07

Anon,

No i have not been for counsilling. I feel i have handeled it good getting over it and moving on. i know i have a low self esteem and i am not comfortable talking about it and its hard to try to explain to my fiance exactly how what happend changed me in that way.

Reply to Shadow
Posted by: anon | 2007/12/06

Shadow, have you ever been for counselling. Sounds like what you are describing might very well be due to your molestation. You may want to join the Sexual Abuse Forum. Sam recently posted a very interesting article. You need healing from your past and once you have dealt with it, you will be able to open up and accept yourself and allow your fiance to love you.

Often abuse survivors have difficulty allowing people too close to them and with intimacy.

Reply to anon

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