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Question
Posted by: nana | 2005/12/12

NEED HELP

I AM VERY HURT INISDE, I AM MARRIED TO THIS MAN WHEN MY SON WAS ONLY FOUR. HE IS 20 YRS NOW, WEEKEND HE WILL COME HOME 12:OO MIDNIGHT, WE BOTH TRIED TO SPEAK TO HIM BUT HE DOES NOT LISTEN, THIS WEEKEND IT WAS WORSE HE CAME HOME AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING, I DID OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM, I TOLD HIM TO GO WHERE HE COME FROM, IN THE MORNING HE WAS HOME, MY HUSBAND TOLD HIM TO PACK HIS CLOTHES AND LEAVE BECAUSE HE DON'T LISTEN. I END UP CRYING PHONED MY SISTER IN NORTH WEST ASKED HER IF SHE CAN BE WITH HIM FOR THREE WEEKS AND TRY TO TALK TO HIM, BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T KNOW NOW, THE FATHER TOLD HIM THAT IF HE COME BACK HE MUST DECIDE IF HE WANT TO BE A CHILD OR MAN, THE LITTLE SISTER ALWAYS CRY, THE HE SAID THE FATHER TOOK A HARSH DECISION BY TAKING OUT HIS CLOTHES PLEASE HELP BECAUSE I AM NOW TORNED APART, THE MARRAIGE AND THE CHILD WHO DOESN'T WANT TO LISTEN, WE TRIED EVERYTHING,

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

It sounds as if your son is angry about something and needs to speak with someone about what is happening for him. Someone within the family may not be what he needs, but rather an outside counsellor or therapist.

Him coming home at midnight or even 3 in the morning is not that unusual for a 20 year old to be honest - but if you don t like it happening in your home you need to speak with him about this.

His step-fathers approach seems to be pushing your son away. He needs to be heard, not given ultimatums. You may feel hurt but you need to ask him what is happening rather than guessing or threatening him with having to leave - this may mean he leaves for good - is that what you really want?

If his behaviour has changed drastically in recent times there is the possibility of substance abuse and you need to keep this in mind as well. If you need to find a counsellor your family doctor is a good place to start.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Leon | 2005/12/12

Well if your son is 20 let him go out and do what he wants. Personally I belive your son is just trying to be rebllous and want some attention. Mabey he enjoys doing this to you or mabey he just wants you to accept the idea that he is an adult and mabey you can try to calmn down, if he is doing something stupid hell learn eventually that he has to get a job and become responsable. Mabey you can loosen up and think is it a big deal to get yourself this worked up and send him away. Well I hope I helped.

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