Posted by: ProblemMan | 2008/11/18

Need for more partners

In this day for some reason most men still think that more partners you have the better, and you definitely cant have less than the woman you are with. I am married a second time, having only had 2 partners in my life now. My wife has had in excess of 10 and I simply cannot handle it. It bugs me every day to think of what she has to compare to etc. I know its in the past and I tell myself that if I was that bad she wouldnt be with me but I keep thinking that I will never be happy until I match this or have more - its a male thing that I think many woman wont understand. I love my wife but I often get visions of her with the other men in her life and it drives me insane.

I had many opportunities when I was younger but i didnt take them due to a highly religeous upbringing, to my detriment now. I decided some time back that I would see if I could find someone else to sleep with to ease this bullsht in my head but when the opportunity was there I walked away, i couldnt imagine doing this to my wife.

What makes this worse is that she slept with a mate of mine after confessing her feelings for me and that just eats me all the time. some may ask why i married her, well i love her a lot, and didnt think this would all get to me like it does.

I feel like I am cursed with this disease and in fact its got so bad I have even thought of leaving my wife over this until I can get the experience she had.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Clearly the issue here is anger and resentment from your side related to your religious upbringing, and the loss of opportunities earlier in your life. These are issues that you'd need to resolve within yourself, with the aid of a therapist. Your wife is clearly not the cause of this, but she is a mirror that continuously reminds you of your own lost opportunities, as well as being a barrier, due to your marriage, for catching up on those lost opportunities. I would strongly suggest that you see a therapist to resolve these issues.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Mona Lisa | 2008/11/18

When my man and I started going out, I was his first and only girlfriend. We are now married years later, and he has never been with anyone else but me.
I had dated a few guys before him, so it used to worry me that he may feel that he needed to date more women before settling down with me. He on the other hand did not feel at all threatened or feel the need to date more women. He said that he is happy where he is, and if he is happy what is the need to look elsewhere.

So the same goes to you...if you are happy where you are, and you love your wife, what is the need to look for another woman? Your insecurities is only causing YOU pain. Your wife does not compare you and is probably completely in love with you.

Maybe the other guys she went out with were complete assholes, and that is why she is with you. She has chosen YOU. Don' t be stupid and ruin things for yourself.

I also get a feeling that because your ex cheated on you with your friend, that that may be affecting the way you feel.

Reply to Mona Lisa
Posted by: Lady man | 2008/11/18

You should have think about this before you married her love or no love. Why don' t you ask her about it.

If you know about it before then it is your own problem. Stop moaning and deal with it.

Reply to Lady man

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