Posted by: T | 2004/11/18

Need counseling/therapy with a metal block on sex

Can you refer me to a counsellor or therapist in the Durban
area that can help me with a mental block that I have towards
approaching my husband for sex. He made a comment years
ago that has affected my approach to him ( he said I approached him too much and he will approach me when he wanted sex) as
a result we hardly have any sex because he now regards it
as boring (he said so) because he always has to do the approaching and I dont do anything. Honestly same approach also boring for me. I always respond to his approaches though because I actually enjoy sex and if thats all I get I'll take it!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Call SA Sexual Health Association on 0860 100 262 for a referral

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Puzzled | 2004/11/18

I never experienced much arousal with my long term partner of 15 years, only very mild, and twice in all the time we've been together. I was a virgin when we met, didn't know any better, and found intercourse painful, then expected it to be painful every time. It took me years to teach myself to climax during sex, have to really use my thoughts/imagination, but I don't feel any arousal when he approaches me. The lack of lubrication leads to the discomfort, and his foreplay either leaves me unmoved or hurts. We are really more good friends than lovers,
although I do love him on a certain level. He never compliments me etc....Very, very unexpectedly I find myself having an affair, not something I EVER imagined I'd get drawn into ! This guy gets me so aroused it's unbelievable. He's teaching me stuff about making love I never dreamed of, makes me feel extremely sexy, like I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet, through what he says to me. Why do I find foreplay with one just painful and something to be avoided, and with this guy so amazing ? Is it just the novelty of a new partner ? My long term partner and I hardly ever make love anymore, maybe once in 2 months, he says it's the stress of his job etc...What, exactly is making this difference ? Have any of you kept the sexual excitement in a long term relationship ? Or does it naturally fade ?

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