Our expert says:
Just telling you to ignore it is a very inadequate response. At least continue to talk about it ; he knows her much better than you do. Maybe she is always nasty to almost everyone, and the family has always just responded by ignoring it. Maybe she now focuses on you because you DO respond and don't ignore it ( ignoring it probabl;y would spoil her nasty fun ).
He needs to remember that it is one of the many dities of a husband, to protect his wife from such attacks and uglines. Sounds like you've had a tough time in other ways, before this, and maybe that is making it harder for you to ignore this sour and ugly woman
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