Posted by: old Regular | 2009/03/23

Need advice from the guys

Hey every one !
I need some advice please from the guys. I'  e been going out with this guy for a month now, I '  ve known him for a while but we started going out a while ago. I'  ve been staying over at his place the last few weekends. We had sex only ones, he is a great mature guy, we get along very well.
My Q how can I tell him I wanne have sex with him again, he said we must take things slow for now, ( when we made love the other day I was a bit with holding my feelings) but I feel more comfy with him now. How do I tell him without him thinking bad about me. We get along very well and enjoy each others company.
We are both single and 40yrs old.
Please advide would be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Old regular,

As you have stated you are both mature adults. I suggest you work on developing open honest communication as a regular characteristic of your growing relationship and then be honest with him as to what your needs are in a way that it is open for discussion. You may be suprised, seeing that you are both getting on so well and enjoy each other's company, that may be wanting to take it slow because he does not want to put you under pressure.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Old Regular | 2009/03/24

Thanx guys for the great advice.
P, yes the first time wasn' t that good. I think he expected more from me, but I was very tense and I feel like I' ve spoiled it.
Bill, you are correct, we both arn' t ready to commit to any thing but we enjoy each others company, and we both want more sex, so I will follow all of your advice and take things slow, and I feel the next move into the sex direction should come from me, because he felt that I wasn' t ready the first time. XXX I will follow your advice !

Reply to Old Regular
Posted by: P | 2009/03/24

How was the one experience? Maybe you were tense, which makes sense and you did not relax, and the experience was a disappointment to him? So he rather takes a raincheque.

Reply to P
Posted by: Bill | 2009/03/23

Me again... the word I was searching for earlier was Commitment, he is not yet comfortable to commit to anyone, so take that part slow.
good luck

Reply to Bill
Posted by: Bill | 2009/03/23

Slow down.... do not talk about growing the relationship! When he says go slow he is saying that the relationship if any must progress slowly, he is not talking about getting into sexual activities slowly!!! If you both know where you stand then there will be enough fireworks and follow xxx' s advise. But avoid talking about the future for now just be friends and live for the day, then he will be more comfortable. At a later stage if he is not prepared to become serious then you know what to do. Basically ease off on everything except the sex!

Reply to Bill
Posted by: Lima | 2009/03/23

You are very lucky to get such a man, not many men will admit to the following, but I will and I am sure it is pretty true. By him saying that he wants to ' take things slow'  , is a good indication that he is very serious about your relationship. He is actually saying that he does not want you to think that he is only there to sleep with you. He will not admit it right now as he is afraid that you might think he only wants to have s*x. You need to comfort him and assure him that you are aware that his intentions are pure, tell him that making love more often will be wonderful and a way to grow your relationship. I am sure he wants to sleep with you just as much as you want to be with him.

Reply to Lima
Posted by: XXX | 2009/03/23

You don' t need to verbally communicate your desire to have sex again,your body language and getting him suitably worked up by touching/feeling/kissing etc will do the trick.

Reply to XXX

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