Our expert says:
Serious depression needs and deserves proper expert assessment and treatment in its own right. From your message, it appears that she reconizes that there is something really wrong, but perhaps not that it is important for her to do something constructive about it, seeking appropriate expert help, rather than just deploring it.
She can, especially with the right sort of help, recognize HOW things went wrong, learn from the bad decisions she made, and transform her life by such learning, so as not to repeat the errors. She seems to be taking inappropriate responsibility, eg, for her husband's infidelity, which was his fault, and not for some of the decisions she herself made, which could be improved upon.
But your message is confusing, because it seems to start talking about your sister, and then seems to be talking about you, without clarity as to where the boundaries lie.
Your mother's opinion ( which may be being misinterpreted ) actually need not matter at all. You are each the captain of your own fate. But for Pete's sake, see a good local psychologist for a long discussion, a proper assessment, and a discussion of treatment options.
You absolutely can and should be helped, but turn to the right sort of direct personal expertise, rather than relying on a family which sounds as though they may all be too wrapped up in their own issues, to be useful to anyone else.
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