Our expert says:
It really sounds as though he has everything he wants from a marriage, without needing to marry you. And as you yourself put it : "we’ve been dating for so long it’s obvious we aren’ t going to break up or anything "
As Maria says, clearly things are likely to carry on exactly as they are, unless you split up, or see a couples counsellor together to sort out what is happening right now, and what if anything will happen When in the future.
OK, so you both may feel wary after a previous divorce - but if you were going to find each other unbearable, you'd have noticed before now.
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