Posted by: DLB | 2007/08/14

Name Calling

What do you guys think of gay men who refer to themselves as woman? Or men that greet eachother say "Hi girlfriend".

I find that a bit offensive - I am a guy, why call me a girl because I like guys?

Another thing is guys that call eachother fags and queers? I don't think we should give those words power.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi again DLB, good to hear from you and note that others have been asking about how you're doing.

The current trend in LGBT thinking, literature and theory is to embrace the word 'queer' in order to make it less derogatory. I use the word regularly myself to include the LGBT sector and it pops up often in terms of "queer theory" and "queer literature". When used by a gay person it becomes less derogatory and there's an international move towards including the word 'queer' in our vocabulary.

We should be doing the same. Only we could make terms like Moffie and Fag less offensive – by adopting them and claiming them as our own.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nikki | 2007/08/15


Yes I want to agree with you about giving derogatory name calling words power.

Some will disagree with me but in the USA the “N” word is as against the law as is the “K” word in SA. The reason behind it is very simple, they are derogatory words and have no place in society, THUS offensive words like moffies, fag, etc should be viewed in the same light and removed from use.

As a Transsexual I am not an effeminate man but a woman with the wrong genitals and undergoing corrective surgery to change that. In the long run people continue to confuse sexual orientation with gender orientation and not only staightville do that but the gay and Trans communities do it as well.

EDUCATION and education and more education, is all I can say will correct that.

Taking claim of offensive words some believe is a way to rise above it but I disagree because one can only rise above something that is respected and understood for what it stands for and offensive words will always be offensive no matter what.


Reply to Nikki
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2007/08/15

I find name calling offensive. If someone dares to call me a fag, a moffie or such, I have a whole list of list ready to reply with. Usually, the look on my face is enough to stop the offender in his tracks and he will never repeat it. Call me aggressive, but that is just the way I am. I do not call other people names, so I expect the same in return, and that is the end of it. Point is, if you do not like it, you do not have to take it.

Posted by: Chameleon_boy | 2007/08/14

My 2c worth? Well fixed with the term boy, i am butch, straight acting (not that i think that there is such a thing for gay men, but it gives the picture) and guess what? i am a versatile bottom boy, i hate being called a fag, a queer a sissy... not being effeminate (no offense meant TQ) nobody has ever called me a queen... i do have some effeminate habits... no dont make me female just cause i sleep with men... DLB i totally agree with you... its nothing against anyone just a personal preference...

Hugs and love

Chamboy XXX

PS: DLB regarding your reply to my post... my thing is i have met mr right (not mr right now - mr right) but sometimes u just need friends someone u can talk to someone to understand and unfortunatly i dont know enough gay men in the vaal triangle and those i know wants to be friends with benefits... but i am searching and i will find!!

Reply to Chameleon_boy
Posted by: TeenQueen | 2007/08/14

My nickname is Mary. I don't mind because I know it has no power over me.
I do find it offensive when people use words like fag or queer but I help them right. The word I preffer is gay. And if you happen to be effeminate, like me, I might call you a queen. Bear in mind my nickname here is TeenQueen giving away my age and the fact that I'm effeminate.
Just a thought.

Reply to TeenQueen

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