Our expert says:
There's no reason at all why the kids should just arrive without warning or planning - that sounds like neglectful parenting by the mother. She needs to be reminded that she is not entitled to any more money than the maintenance decided by the court.
Sounds like the guy is ambivalent about marrying you or even about his committment to his relationshiop with you, or, perhaps worse, with his child with you.
Maybe he hasn't actually changed at all - he's just stopped hiding so efficiently as he did before
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