Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/28

My Turn...

Well it seems I am not doing all that well. I just wann say that you all have read quite a few of my postings, & some have also read my questions & queries when I have had them. What are your opinions about the type of person I maybe? Any & all comments are welcomed.

The thing that's getting to me is that I have been feeling like "Why Me???" "Why all the time???" "Is there nobody else to pick on for a while & leave me alone???"

I know its not fair to think like that coz every person does not deserve any hardship thats bestowed on them. Whats also getting to me is that I've also contemplated suicide lately. NO guys, it is not an option for me!!! But just the thought coming into my mind at all has got me really concerned coz I haven't thought about it in a very very long while.

The gf is great & I'm still very much in love with her. The kids are well & my daughter was just chosen prefect for next year, so I'm kewl on that side as well. Work is forever up to shit but I've been enduring it for over 3 years now, so it can't be that... Just can't put my finger on it!!!

Any suggestions are very welcomed so please don't hold back. CS: please be straight-forward.

Take care,

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Shaun, nobody who has read any of your posings can have any doubt that you are one of life's good guys, whether or not that satisfies you. You have empathy, understanding, and are prepared to go to quite a bit of trouble to be helpful to others. And your advice is practical, realistic, and well-expressed. Straycat's comments make a lot of sense-- you lead with the heart, though you also have much intelligence. SO you're probably very vulnerable to being hurt as well, rather than being one of those heavily armoured guys with bullet-proof souls.
None of us ever finds a good answer to the "why me?" question. A patient I had back in my years in London, showed me his journal, in which in the middle of one page, he'd written : "WHY ME ? 'Cause it's my turn"
Now be as patient, understanding, gentle, compassionate and supportive to yourself, as you are to everyone else in need.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/28

Hi Shaun,
To me you appear to be a very thoughtful and wise person, you always say the right things and you have a very big heart, like a taxi, always place for more. I hope whatever is getting you down passes soon and sincerely hope that you feel better soon as well.
My heart and thoughts are with you but unfortunately I do not have any good advice to give as wrapped up in own dismal stuff, but know that you will get through this because you are YOU.......
Take Care and know that YOU are SPECIAL.......

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: HUH? | 2004/10/28


Reply to HUH?
Posted by: Huh? | 2004/10/28

That explains a lot

Reply to Huh?
Posted by: , | 2004/10/28


Reply to ,
Posted by: Huh ? | 2004/10/28

Why ?

I see the whole picture - Call a spade a spade

Not trying to be nice -- just being myself --- HONEST

Reply to Huh ?
Posted by: WHY ? | 2004/10/28

Huh ? see that wasn't so difficult ?

Reply to WHY ?
Posted by: Huh? | 2004/10/28

Hi Shaun

You are obiviously a kind thoughtful and sensiyive person. You also have lots to be thankful for , great kids , great gf, and we all feel fed up at work sometimes.
Maybe with u being so thoughtful and kind to people on this forum , some of their problems and feelings are rubbing off on you ? It happen in the "real" world. Maybe its time to look after yourself.

Reply to Huh?
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/10/28


Get off your big fat ass and get over yourself this instant - or else..........


Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/28

Wow thanx so much, you are all just great & I have no words really... Thank you!!!

Chelle, don't worry, I am seeing a shrink & am on meds as well.

Eish, I dunno, maybe it's just that time of the month for me!!!

But plse, don't feel shy to tune me shit as well. Maybe what I need is to be told with no uncertainty that I need to get off my big fat ass, & get over myself!!!

Thank you so much though, you words mean a lot to me.

Take care,

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: DBB | 2004/10/28

Hi Shaun ,
Nt sure what to say other then tlling to look at advise you have given to a lot of us even me a while ago you told me i will make.
i am trying my best everything is falling down around me the X G/F is moving out and i am glad for her as to live me has been hell. i have been on top of the world for the last 2 weeks this morning well on a huge downer but i now i will get there you will too

Reply to DBB
Posted by: bubbles | 2004/10/28

Hi there...

Dont worry about it so much... you are just going through a down patch in your life and that makes anything and everything seem like its not going well...

To find a happiness that will never fade and that will fill your life with purpose and meaning I suggest you give God a try! He has really changed my life - filled me with joy in those down times and always lifts me up! Its easy too, not like a formal thing you just need to ask him, visit a church and see how your life can change and change your families lives too.

The choice is yours at the end of the day but what have you to lose when happiness and eternal life is guarenteed!!!


Reply to bubbles
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/10/28

Me again - pressed that enter button too quickly.

Shaunie, what I really wanted to say was that although you are still a spring chicken (he he he) seriously now - you have the wisdom, grace, sensitivity and overall goodness of a very wise man. Don't you dare to ever change because most of us can only hope to turn out to be such a decent specimen as you.

I know there are times when it all becomes too much and I also know that you have the savy to realise that during these times it is now your turn to lean on others. Don't try to always be the big man - there's nothing wrong with saying, hey wipe my tears for a change ! A lot of people owe you that - you have been a pillar for many.

Do you know that song "Lean on Me - I'll be your friend" ? Well today I dedicate that song to you and hope you feel better.

Keep well and thinking of you.

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/10/28

Shaun - I have read many of your posts, but I seem to have missed exactly what the problems are that you are experiencing - sorry.
You're definitely compassionate, caring and very empathetic. It's hard to live in this world with those qualities at times because everything that happens tend to have an impact on how you feel.
Another thing which I have learned is that we can spend years wondering why we feel the way we do. We can be philosophical about what we're here to do etc and we can be spiritual and seek answers through our spirituality. What many people don't really think about is that it's very possible that the problem is actually one of a chemical imbalance. So, while all those other things do help to add meaning to our life, it can often happen that the chemical imbalance needs to be treated in an effective way - with the help of a psychiatrist who can recommend and monitor dosages etc.
Somehow many people are reluctant to accept that this could be the problem. If they are diagnosed with diabetes or epilepsy, they will learn to live with it. Somehow if a person is diagnosed with Bipolar or some other mental illness caused by chemical imbalances then it's more difficult to accept.
I just believe that there are so many people looking for answers in so many different ways, and often miss the obvious of having a chemical imbalance.
I realise what I have written most probably doesn't really help you in anyway, but I would urge you to continue working with a psychologist and psychiatrist.
I wish you everything of the best.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/10/28

Liewe "kewl" Shaun

Mensig ek wens ek't 'n FANTASTIESE sinnetjie gehad wat ek kon sê om sommer net alles vir jou beter te maak vandag....hoe sê die ingilse ? wish i could just kiss it all better.... maar jy's die een met die wyse woorde, jy's so 'n hulpvolle (is dit 'n woord?) bedagsame, wonderlike mens!

Ja ek't al self afgevra WHY ME - kan die k*k nie maar bietjie iemand anderste tref nie - ek reken ons het maar elkeen ons share en dink dis baie erg tot jy na ander se lewens kyk en sien daar is dinge wat erger kon gewees het.....

Sterkte vir jou en jou g/f. Jy was vir haar (en vir baie van ons) so 'n groot steunpillaar deur ons swartste tye miskien het dit jou ook so bietjie afgetrek ?

Mooibly en sterkte vir hierdie dag onse "kewl" Shaun!!!


Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/10/28

Hi Shaun

Me thinks you are a kewl dude. What's up boy - why so down in the dumps - have you tried writing down possibilities for this sudden onset of the blues ? Also another thought - it's nearing that time of the year again - what do we call it again - something to do with Christmas time......... The highest incident rates of suicide and depression occurs over this period - could it be that ? In any case, you have every right to feel blue every now and again because guess what - you are only bloody human !!

Tell you what - pack your bags and come visit me in Cape Town this weekend - bring the kids, girlfriend and granny - we'll find some way of cheering you up.

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Klippies | 2004/10/28

Shaun, now it's my turn to tell you to "vasbyt". You know, when all my hassles started I really felt like taking my own life for nothing made sense anymore. I also asked God why did this happen to me? Now, a few months down the line, things are starting to make sense. Remember that God will never put something in your life's path that you cannot overcome with His help.

Always think about your children and your loved ones. I went for help because taking everything into perspective, I knew I also had many faults and I sorted that out. It can be that you have depression and that can be cured.

Work is also stressfull for a lot of us but what the hell, kyk noord en gaan voort!!

Vasbyt Shaun.
Net ietsie: Wanneer die nag op sy donkertse is, is net voordat die son opkom!!

Reply to Klippies
Posted by: Straycat | 2004/10/28

You sound like a good guy. I have read many of your postings, they make alot of sense and are always compassionate and sound. You seem like you are very much in control. I suppose saying things, is the easy part though.

I think maybe, you just think with your heart. Your decisions and thoughts are straight from the heart. Your mind maybe ses this is the right thing to do... but your heart takes over.... Maybe everyone relies on you as their emotional depot... and its getting a bit much... your mind is telling you stuff this..I'm tired now... but your heart tells you otherwise... Prehaps you just need to say, NO ! , once in a while....

I dont know if that really answers the question, but thats my opinion... Hope you feel better.

God Bless

Reply to Straycat

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