Posted by: BYE | 2009/09/10

my Sucky behaviour

I do seem to have a problem: in my relationships I have serious trust issues. With my ex-husband of 10 years and my current BF of 1 year I consistently accuse them of wanting other women.
I am attractive and have a relatively high self-esteem and I am considered a bit of a drama queen. I am high-maintenance in terms of attention. I need to be the one in the spotlight and when they pay attention to other girls then I' m really uncomfortable.
I turn from a stunning girl to hang out with, to a jealous b1tch, and give them so much hassle when another female is near the radar. What is wrong with me???
These men are flirtatious but not over-bearingly so. They just normal guys and they do like me and I just push them away with my jealous behaviour. Sometimes I can deal with certain situations and other times I just flip out (PS: I' m also bipolar but I take responsibility and make a concerted effort ot deal with this disorder by taking my meds and making important lifestyle changes).
It' s not fair on my BF, I see the pained look on his face every time I fight with him. And he likes me and wonders why I fight with him and push him further and further away?!?!?!?!
I am an attention-seeking drama queen and it' s not a bad thing as long as I' m reasonable and it' s funny and quirky, but then I go into over-drive on the attention seeking bit and really give the men in my life hell.
How do I change? This is an intrinsic and very unhelpful trait. I' ve had it all my life, it' s not fair on those around me and I am admitting that the problem is with me.
Now.... How do I get better? How do I fix this behaviour and deal with myself better? Else, I' ll lose my BF like I lost my husband.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A form of behaviour, I'm sure you realize, which tends to make these negative predictions come true, even if there was no chance of this happening to start with. Why not work with a counsellor to become low-maintenance ( high-maintenance is SO boring ). It is NEVER "not a bad thing" to be an attention-seeking drama queen"
I suspect you have a much lower self-esteem than you think. Someone with major self-esteem wouldn't imagine her man could even want to look at anyone else.
CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, is all about changing unhelpful assumptions and behaviours.

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