Our expert says:
Not peaceful, actually --- a burst of work on Sunday Morning --- then over to Mnet for the afternoon and evening to see the next Survivor episode, take copious barely legble notes, and interview the castaway, then back to Pretoria to spend the night writing up my notes while I can still dimly understand them --- then MOnday is shopping and chores day, so one has to try to fit in time to type up the Survivor articles and send them off, for H24, the official website, and Beeld.
Its his dad who is screwing your son's life up, potentially, by his stupid and immature, reflex undermining of all your decisions or attempts at discipline. Who actually has custody ? Presumably it's that parent who has the right to decide about therapy.
And the insistence that the psychologist should be Christian is ridiculous --- a shrink's religion should ABSOLUTELY AND ALWAYS be kept out of their therapy, just as they politics should be kept out. Your boy doesn't have a spiritual crisis, but a psychological one. I agree with your shrink that he is damaging the boy out of sheer spite, to a degree that one might need to consider approaching a court to intervene to stop this damage. meanwhile, any knives and weapons the boy has should be confiscated, and other potential weapons in the house be kept locked up.
Your punishments have been nowhere too severe, but far too lenient. If he leaves old dirty dishes in his room, then he should get no more food whatever except served onto dishes he brings from his room, clean or dirty, as he chooses. If he chooses not only not to bring out his dirty washing but also to help with the washing, then stop providing clean clothes --- he won't want to have his pals see him in dirty clothes.
Cancel the cellphone contract --- he should get no airtime except what he pays for himself out of money he earns from chores. Yes, he's behaving differently from the other kids --- but it doesn't sound as though they are exposed to a father bent on poisoning them against you and against normal behaviour and discipline.
Build also on his admission that you have never given him any reason not to trust you, and ask you whether it makes sense to believe every ugly thing your ex says about you, knowing that your ex very much wants to hurt you and to spoil your relationship with the boy, or to believe the evidence of his own eyes and experience.
explore the availability of Tough Love support.
Best of luck --- your love will win through in the end
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