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Question
Posted by: Homer | 2007/08/19

My personality and work. Rude awakening?

Hi,

I cant figure something out. I have been labelled as being rude, abraisive, arrogant, and a few other labels, cant remember them all, recently, this week at work. One of our clients lodged a complaint against me. I work in a professional environment.

This has all been in the past week. Yet, everything else I do in life, socially and other aspects of my life, do not agree with those labels that have been attached.

I'm an easy going guy, joke around and that sorta thing. I cant understand it... am I living in a dreamworld? Ive spoken to a few people (friends as well as past lecturers), who say it's not true...those labels.

Do you think it's just personality clashes at work? Or what? What's wrong with me?

Homer

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Our expert says:
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Its not a dream-world, but one has to recognize that there can b a major and significant difference between what you intend to do / what you think you are doing, and how it is experienced by other people. For instance, some of what you consider to be harmless easy going joking around, can be experienced as rude, arrogant and painful by others. Its like tramping on someon else's foot --- you may not even notice having done it, but it can hurt the other person's foot. Don't see these as labels in the sense of identifications of inevitable doom, but as useful indicators of how you often come across to others, and something which you should, and can, change. A realistic CBT-style counsellor can help you do this relatively easily.

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