Our expert says:
Check the law, but we may have a legal duty to report such an incident to the police ; and anyway it makes good sense to report it, as you say, to prevent such things happening to other children. It's a good sign that you have a fine relationship with your son, that he felt able to tell you about this event, as fear of doing so is one major barrier against the discovery of such abuse of a child. It sounds as if what happened, while very wrong, would not have caused any physical damage ; and so long as everyone concerned at the adult level keeps their head and stays calm, probably no real psychological damage --- children are usually resilient, though they can become upset by finding their parents getting very upset about events.
Your husband may feel he is also protecting your child, but I suspect that his experience as a police reservist, with interrogations of the accused which can be crude and rough, and when even victims are often not treated thoughtfully or kindly, may be what he is basing his concerns on. Your son ought to be seen only by members of the special Child Protection staff who should have had proper training about how to talk to children about such matters, and to to gather the information they need without upsetting the child. If any policemen were so appallingly badly trained as to "interrogate" a child victim, then they would deserve to be sacked promptly.
So I think you have done the right thing, and that your husband's concerns while understandable, ought to be excessive.
When your husband says "that whenever there is a decision to be made, I do not take him into consideration", this suggests that he has other emotional baggage coming into play, and that he is concerned at a more general level about not being taken into account when some decisions are to be made --- if there are real issues there, the two of you ought to settle them between yourselves, with marriage counselling if needed, but not involving your child or a sensitive issue like this.
It sounds like your husband may also be feeling embarassed, as if it was somehow his fault that this happened to his child ( and of course it isn't his fault ). Surely the Soham case should make us support your approach all the more definitely, where the two litle girls were murdered by a man with 10 prevous complaints about him interfering sexually with children having been ignored by the police, apparently because the children and their parents were reluctant to pursue a formal case against the beast.
And disregard WOW, we are, sadly, occasionally visited by witless idiots like WOW, much less mature than your son, who think it's clever to be offensive, and who display their inablity to be hepful to anyone, een themselves. Fortunately, they depart before too long ( because if they didn't, we'd send our Cyperpatrols out to identify them and deal with them properly ).
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