Our expert says:
Its easy for two people who basically love each other to have awful arguments - even over what afterwards seem pathetically small issues. And when fighting we say awful things to each other, which reflect the temporary awfulness of our feelings of the moment, rather than things we mean enduringly.
Then, too, some people - often with a basic lack of self-esteem - find it awfully difficult to apologise or face the possibility of being wrong.
You love her and want to continue the relationship. Why not call her again and apologise. You needn't actually say you or she were wrong about the basic issue, whatever it was, but apologise for having allowed the issue to turn into an argument, and say you're sorry that she became so upset and that this has cooled the relationship between you, one which you really value.
If you think about it, all of that is probably true. Maybe at the heart of the situation she was wrong ( not that that usually matters in the end ) and over-reacted, but you ARE surely sorry that this turned nasty and that she became upset ( even if the upsetness was actually her own choice and her own doing ). It leaves unsaid the issues you both could choose to squabble about, to no benefit to either of you.
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